tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Wed Jul 10 18:13:44 2002

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RE: KLBC Help with phrasing

p'an wrote:
> > DaHjaj molpu' porgh qawlu'meH lo'bogh.
> > (Today the body, which was used as a reminder, was buried.

DloraH, BG:
>mol is "bury", not "be buried".  I believe the corpse would be the object.
>The subject would be the one using the shovel.
>We also have the word "corpse" lom.

{porgh} "body" seems to mean the body seen anatomically, the sum of all the 
organs and tissues in a creature."  We have one example by Okrand in a rude 
comment by Klingon General Koord to Romulan ambassador Caitlin Dar 
(spelling?) in Star Trek V, which was not used in the final shooting script:

   pImlaw' romuluSngan be' porgh.
   I've heard Romulan women are different. (MO ST5 notes)
   ("The Romulan woman's body is apparently different.")

FYI, there's also {ro} "trunk (of body), torso" for things like, say, a 
"body blow".

>DaHjaj qawlu'meH porgh lo'lu'bogh mollu'.

If you're like me, you can easily get confused using {-lu'} and {-bogh} 
together.  One trick is to strip off any relative clauses - and all the 
other "extras" - to reveal the basic sentence (AOVS: 
adverbial-object-verb-subject), which you translate first:

   Today the body (corpse) was buried.
   DaHjaj lom mollu'.

Next translate the relative clause, remembering Klingon OVS order:

   the body, which was used as a reminder
   qawlu'meH lom lo'lu'bogh

Then, substitute the relative clause for the basic noun:

   DaHjaj qawlu'meH lom lo'lu'bogh mollu'.
   Today the body (corpse), which was used as a reminder, was buried.


Now a stylistic suggestion:  As it is, this sentence has three {-lu'}'s and 
one {-bogh}, all of which can confuse the reader.  Think about getting rid 
of one of the passives.  Contemporary English uses the passive a lot, but 
my feeling is that Klingon style prefers the active voice.  Instead of 
saying "the body was buried", say "they buried the body":

   DaHjaj lom lumol.
   Today they buried the body (corpse).

Now, when you fit in the relative clause:

   DaHjaj qawlu'meH lom lo'lu'bogh lumol.
   Today they buried the body (corpse), which was used as a reminder.

it's a little easier to figure out who's doing what to whom, especially 
with the verb prefix {lu-} "they [do something] to it" to help.

> > I have tried to think of a way to make it 2 shorter sentences - is this
> > better (even with a conjuction)?
> >
> > qaw'lu'meH lo'lu' porgh 'ach DaHjaj mol.
> > (The body had been used as a reminder, but was buried today.)
>DaHjaj porgh mollu'.  qawlu'meH porgh lo'lu'.

If you want, you can even simplify the one long sentence to:

   DaHjaj qawlu'meH lom lumol.
   Today they buried the body (corpse) as a reminder.


   qawlu'meH DaHjaj lom lumol.
   As a reminder, they buried the body (corpse) today.

with no real loss of meaning.  YMMV.

Ca'Non Master of the Klingons

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