tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Wed Jul 10 18:13:44 2002
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RE: KLBC Help with phrasing
p'an wrote:
> > DaHjaj molpu' porgh qawlu'meH lo'bogh.
> > (Today the body, which was used as a reminder, was buried.
DloraH, BG:
>mol is "bury", not "be buried". I believe the corpse would be the object.
>The subject would be the one using the shovel.
>
>We also have the word "corpse" lom.
{porgh} "body" seems to mean the body seen anatomically, the sum of all the
organs and tissues in a creature." We have one example by Okrand in a rude
comment by Klingon General Koord to Romulan ambassador Caitlin Dar
(spelling?) in Star Trek V, which was not used in the final shooting script:
pImlaw' romuluSngan be' porgh.
I've heard Romulan women are different. (MO ST5 notes)
("The Romulan woman's body is apparently different.")
FYI, there's also {ro} "trunk (of body), torso" for things like, say, a
"body blow".
>DaHjaj qawlu'meH porgh lo'lu'bogh mollu'.
If you're like me, you can easily get confused using {-lu'} and {-bogh}
together. One trick is to strip off any relative clauses - and all the
other "extras" - to reveal the basic sentence (AOVS:
adverbial-object-verb-subject), which you translate first:
Today the body (corpse) was buried.
DaHjaj lom mollu'.
Next translate the relative clause, remembering Klingon OVS order:
the body, which was used as a reminder
qawlu'meH lom lo'lu'bogh
Then, substitute the relative clause for the basic noun:
DaHjaj qawlu'meH lom lo'lu'bogh mollu'.
Today the body (corpse), which was used as a reminder, was buried.
Voila!
Now a stylistic suggestion: As it is, this sentence has three {-lu'}'s and
one {-bogh}, all of which can confuse the reader. Think about getting rid
of one of the passives. Contemporary English uses the passive a lot, but
my feeling is that Klingon style prefers the active voice. Instead of
saying "the body was buried", say "they buried the body":
DaHjaj lom lumol.
Today they buried the body (corpse).
Now, when you fit in the relative clause:
DaHjaj qawlu'meH lom lo'lu'bogh lumol.
Today they buried the body (corpse), which was used as a reminder.
it's a little easier to figure out who's doing what to whom, especially
with the verb prefix {lu-} "they [do something] to it" to help.
> > I have tried to think of a way to make it 2 shorter sentences - is this
> > better (even with a conjuction)?
> >
> > qaw'lu'meH lo'lu' porgh 'ach DaHjaj mol.
> > (The body had been used as a reminder, but was buried today.)
>
>DaHjaj porgh mollu'. qawlu'meH porgh lo'lu'.
If you want, you can even simplify the one long sentence to:
DaHjaj qawlu'meH lom lumol.
Today they buried the body (corpse) as a reminder.
or
qawlu'meH DaHjaj lom lumol.
As a reminder, they buried the body (corpse) today.
with no real loss of meaning. YMMV.
--
Voragh
Ca'Non Master of the Klingons