tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Tue Jul 09 16:31:35 2002

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KLBC Help with phrasing

I am attempting to phrase a more complex sentence and solicit your input.
These are the sentences (with translations).  How can I do this better?
wa'Hu' tlhoy' toStaHvIS, bong HoH'egh mangHom QIp.
      (Yesterday, while climbing the wall, the stupid cadet accidentally
killed himself)
DaHjaj molpu' porgh qaw'lu'meH lo'bogh.
      (Today the body, which was used as a reminder, was buried.  I'm
considering "for the purpose of remembering as a reminder)
I used -pu' because now, at the time, the body is buried.
I want to put both the -meH and the -bogh on qaw'lu' verb. Forbidden, but I
don't like it on the lo'.
I have tried to think of a way to make it 2 shorter sentences - is this
better (even with a conjuction)?
qaw'lu'meH lo'lI' porgh 'ach DaHjaj mol.  
     (The body had been used as a reminder, but was buried today.  Not as
strong, but possible)

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