tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Mon Dec 08 13:07:07 2003

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Re: KLBC 'ejDo'wIj

Steven Boozer ([email protected]) [KLI Member] 

At 10:05 AM Friday 12/5/2003, ma'Sa wrote:

>So the poem looks like this at present:
>
>   batlh Dat nuqeng 'ejDo'maj.
>   nItebHa' tera' wIlenglaH.
>   jInepbe': nuloSvIp ngeHbej,
>   nuHaj... tlhIngan maH!
>
>   'ejDo'maj 'ut law' 'etlhmeymaj 'ut puS:
>   tera'Daq nuqemlaHbe' 'etlhmeymaj,
>   vulqanDaq nuqenglaHba'be' SuS!
>   nIteb yuQmey yotlaHbe' vaj!
>
>   DIcharghlaH nuchaw'mo' 'ejDo'.
>   nuboQ nuHmey; nuQaH je toDuj,
>   maSuvqang 'ach nubot juHqo'
>   'ej yayvaD nutlhabmoH Duj!
>
>I'm still not happy with the first verse. For one, I want to put back in 
>the reference to Vulcan which the original one had.

Which was?  (I've unfortunately deleted the thread.)

>I also want to make the third line actually rhyme with the first 
>('ejDo'maj is a stretch to rhyme with ngeHbej

Maybe not.  It depends on definition of end rhyme you're using: is it only 
the final consonant (-C), the final vowel + consonant (-VC), the entire 
final syllable (-CVC), etc.  If it includes the vowel, does it have to be 
the exact same vowel, or just a vowel of the same class (e.g. front vs. 
back vowel).    Also, remember that the final syllable of each of these 
words doesn't carry the primary stress, so these vowels are not strong.  In 
Klingon, usually only the noun or verb stem is stressed.  (The only caveat 
is that any syllable ending in a /'/ (glottal stop) - especially final 
syllables - will sound strong if the /'/ is clearly enunciated, resulting 
in what sounds like a secondary stress to our English ears like a secondary 
stress.  Whether Klingons perceive it as being stressed is unknown.)

>So I'd like to get rid of the line <<jInepbe': nuloSvIp ngeHbej,>> to 
>replace it with something which refers to Vulcan in someway. Since you've 
>been so helpful, do you have any further suggestions about this line in 
>particular?
>
>Maybe the first verse could be adjusted to read something like this:
>
>   batlh Dat nuqeng 'ejDo'maj.

"Our starship carries us everywhere honorably."

>   nItebHa' tera' wIlenglaH.

"We travel to Earth linked (i.e. together?)"

What is linked exactly?  Is it "us" - which is only implied by the the verb 
prefix?  FYI, our one example of {nItebHa'} comes from the BoP poster:

   nISwI': cha' chang'engmey (telDaq lujomlu', nItebHa' lubaHlu')
   Disruptor - 2 Pairs (Wing Mounted, Fire Linked)

where it's the two pairs {cha' chang'engmey} of disruptors {nISwI'} that 
fire simultaneously (i.e. linked together).

>   vulqanDaq wIpuvlaH, DaHjaj!

"We fly to Vulcan, today!"

Grammatically, {DaHjaj} should be first, so you would want to re-punctuate 
this as:

   vulqanDaq wIpuvlaH... DaHjaj!

with {DaHjaj} as a sort of afterthought.  If you do, it matches the next 
line better.

>   nuHajbej... tlhIngan maH!

"They (or It) definitely dread us... we are Klingon(s)!"

What is the subject of {nuHaj}?  The planet Vulcan {vulqan} or the Vulcans 
{vulqanganpu'}?  Or is it {vulqan} and {tera'} together.

>I know this isn't strictly a question of just language now, but still, any 
>thoughts? :)

I'll give it some thought.



-- 
Voragh
Ca'Non Master of the Klingons

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