tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Wed Sep 18 11:07:46 2013

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Re: [Tlhingan-hol] Ozymandias

Robyn Stewart ([email protected]) [KLI Member] [Hol po'wI']

bom vImaSbogh 'oH.  Do'Ha' jabbI'ID'e' labbogh nIqolay vIleghlaHbe'.
chImlaw' jabbI'IDDaj. jIHvaD yIlabqa', nIqolay, 'a DaH mutlhu' qechlIj.
ghaytan bom vIqawchu'be'mo' Dach qechmey puS 'ej nom vImughpu'mo' pupbe'bej
mu'Hommey DatoghDI', rut vaghlogh mup wa' tlhegh, rut javlogh 'ej rut
QapHa'. 'ach ghaytan Daj cha' veymey. bomlIj vIlaD 'e' vIloS.

Sep tIQ Dabbogh lengwI' vIqIH. jatlh ghaH,
DebDaq QamtaH cha' nagh 'uSDu' tIn.	
bIHDaq Sum, bID mollu', QottaH qab.
monHa'taHmo' Quch wIH 'ej ra'law'taHmo' wuS
po'ba' Hew chenmoHwI', vaqtaHvIS ghop.
nongtaH yIn Hutlhbogh Dochmeyvam.
'ej QutlhwI'chajDaq mu'vam lughItlhlu':
Ozymandius ta''a' 'oH pongwIj'e'. 
ta'meywIj tIlegh, HoSwI'pu', 'ej peHaj.
pa' retlhDaq ratlhtaH pagh.
Hewvetlh pIgh tInqu' luDech puH chIm
pa'vo' HopDaq taH beQqu'bogh lam mob.

- Qov

-----Original Message-----
From: nIqolay q [mailto:[email protected]] 
Sent: September 18, 2013 11:01 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Tlhingan-hol] Ozymandias

On Wed, Sep 18, 2013 at 11:17 AM, Steven Boozer <[email protected]>
wrote:
>
> nIqolay q:
> > I tried translating Percy Bysshe Shelley's poem, "Ozymandias", into 
> > Klingon. It is not an easy poem to translate.
>
> This will take a while to process, but first impressions...
>
> > I met a traveller from an antique land Sep ngo'qu'vo' lengpu'bogh 
> > vay' vIqIH.
>
> This is a good opportunity to use {tIQ} "be ancient" - we are talking
about Egypt after all.  Also why not simply say {lengwI'} "traveller"
instead of {lengpu'bogh vay'} "someone who has travelled"?  E.g.
>
>   Sep tIQvo' lengwI' vIqIH

I wasn't sure if nouns with type-5 suffixes could modify another noun in
that sense. And as ghunchu'wI' points out, it could easily be confused as
modifying the verb qIH instead of the noun lengwI'. tIQ is a very useful
word here, though, and I had forgotten it exists, so thanks!

>
> > Nothing beside remains. Round the decay Of that colossal wreck, 
> > boundless and bare The lone and level sands stretch far away.
> >
> > ratlh pagh latlh. raghpu'bogh pIgh'a'vetlh Dechbogh yoS'a'Daq, 
> > chImchu' veH Hutlhbogh Deb'e'.
>
> Using {tIQ} allows you a bit of word play with {tIq} "be long, be lengthy"
at the very end, e.g.
>
>   tIqtaH chImbogh 'ej mobbogh Deb'e'
>
>   tIqtaH chImbogh mobbogh je Deb'e'

Can tIq also apply to wide open areas? tIq Deb suggests to me sort of a
long, skinny desert, rather than a desert which goes into the distance for a
very long way. I wanted to make sure to convey the latter idea, which I why
I used veH Hutlhbogh Deb'e' ("boundless desert").

Also, is it necessary to mark Deb with -'e' when there's no other noun in
the phrase? I thought using -'e' in relative clauses was used when there
could be confusion about whether the subject or object is the head noun.

> The second version is modeled on the Anthem:
>
>   yoHbogh matlhbogh je SuvwI' Say'moHchu' may' 'Iw
>   The blood of battle washes clean the warrior brave and true. 
> (Anthem)
>
> > And I'm not sure nongmoHwI' ("that which causes one to be
> > passionate") is really the best translation for "passion", though 
> > there's not a lot of vocabulary for emotions yet.
>
> The only example of {nong} also comes from the Anthem:
>
>   maSuv manong 'ej maHoHchu'
>   We fight, we love, and then we kill. (Anthem)
>
> Another "emotional" verb is {DuQ} "touch (emotionally)".  The only nouns I
can think of are {parmaq} "love, romance" and {bang} "love, one who is
loved, beloved one" which are clearly inappropriate here.
>
>
> --
> Voragh
> Ca'Non Master of the Klingons
>
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Tlhingan-hol mailing list
> [email protected]
> http://mail.kli.org/mailman/listinfo/tlhingan-hol

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