tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Wed Sep 18 10:01:19 2013
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Re: [Tlhingan-hol] Ozymandias
On Wed, Sep 18, 2013 at 11:17 AM, Steven Boozer <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> nIqolay q:
> > I tried translating Percy Bysshe Shelley's poem, "Ozymandias", into
> > Klingon. It is not an easy poem to translate.
>
> This will take a while to process, but first impressions...
>
> > I met a traveller from an antique land
> > Sep ngo'qu'vo' lengpu'bogh vay' vIqIH.
>
> This is a good opportunity to use {tIQ} "be ancient" - we are talking about Egypt after all. Also why not simply say {lengwI'} "traveller" instead of {lengpu'bogh vay'} "someone who has travelled"? E.g.
>
> Sep tIQvo' lengwI' vIqIH
I wasn't sure if nouns with type-5 suffixes could modify another noun
in that sense. And as ghunchu'wI' points out, it could easily be
confused as modifying the verb qIH instead of the noun lengwI'. tIQ is
a very useful word here, though, and I had forgotten it exists, so
thanks!
>
> > Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
> > Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
> > The lone and level sands stretch far away.
> >
> > ratlh pagh latlh. raghpu'bogh pIgh'a'vetlh
> > Dechbogh yoS'a'Daq, chImchu' veH Hutlhbogh Deb'e'.
>
> Using {tIQ} allows you a bit of word play with {tIq} "be long, be lengthy" at the very end, e.g.
>
> tIqtaH chImbogh 'ej mobbogh Deb'e'
>
> tIqtaH chImbogh mobbogh je Deb'e'
Can tIq also apply to wide open areas? tIq Deb suggests to me sort of
a long, skinny desert, rather than a desert which goes into the
distance for a very long way. I wanted to make sure to convey the
latter idea, which I why I used veH Hutlhbogh Deb'e' ("boundless
desert").
Also, is it necessary to mark Deb with -'e' when there's no other noun
in the phrase? I thought using -'e' in relative clauses was used when
there could be confusion about whether the subject or object is the
head noun.
> The second version is modeled on the Anthem:
>
> yoHbogh matlhbogh je SuvwI' Say'moHchu' may' 'Iw
> The blood of battle washes clean the warrior brave and true. (Anthem)
>
> > And I'm not sure nongmoHwI' ("that which causes one to be
> > passionate") is really the best translation for "passion",
> > though there's not a lot of vocabulary for emotions yet.
>
> The only example of {nong} also comes from the Anthem:
>
> maSuv manong 'ej maHoHchu'
> We fight, we love, and then we kill. (Anthem)
>
> Another "emotional" verb is {DuQ} "touch (emotionally)". The only nouns I can think of are {parmaq} "love, romance" and {bang} "love, one who is loved, beloved one" which are clearly inappropriate here.
>
>
> --
> Voragh
> Ca'Non Master of the Klingons
>
>
>
>
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