tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Wed Sep 18 08:17:46 2013

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Re: [Tlhingan-hol] Ozymandias

Steven Boozer (sboozer@uchicago.edu)



nIqolay q:
> I tried translating Percy Bysshe Shelley's poem, "Ozymandias", into
> Klingon. It is not an easy poem to translate.

This will take a while to process, but first impressions...
 
> I met a traveller from an antique land
> Sep ngo'qu'vo' lengpu'bogh vay' vIqIH.

This is a good opportunity to use {tIQ} "be ancient" - we are talking about Egypt after all.  Also why not simply say {lengwI'} "traveller" instead of {lengpu'bogh vay'} "someone who has travelled"?  E.g.

  Sep tIQvo' lengwI' vIqIH

> Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
> Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare 
> The lone and level sands stretch far away. 
>
> ratlh pagh latlh. raghpu'bogh pIgh'a'vetlh 
> Dechbogh yoS'a'Daq, chImchu' veH Hutlhbogh Deb'e'.

Using {tIQ} allows you a bit of word play with {tIq} "be long, be lengthy" at the very end, e.g.

  tIqtaH chImbogh 'ej mobbogh Deb'e'

  tIqtaH chImbogh mobbogh je Deb'e'

The second version is modeled on the Anthem:

  yoHbogh matlhbogh je SuvwI' Say'moHchu' may' 'Iw 
  The blood of battle washes clean the warrior brave and true. (Anthem)
 
> And I'm not sure nongmoHwI' ("that which causes one to be
> passionate") is really the best translation for "passion", 
> though there's not a lot of vocabulary for emotions yet.

The only example of {nong} also comes from the Anthem:

  maSuv manong 'ej maHoHchu' 
  We fight, we love, and then we kill. (Anthem)

Another "emotional" verb is {DuQ} "touch (emotionally)".  The only nouns I can think of are {parmaq} "love, romance" and {bang} "love, one who is loved, beloved one" which are clearly inappropriate here.


--
Voragh
Ca'Non Master of the Klingons




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