tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Sun Nov 14 09:50:24 1999

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Re: jabbI'IDghom vInaw'laHbe' / klbc-HELP!



>Date: Sun, 14 Nov 1999 01:46:29 -0900
>From: Pillow <[email protected]>
>
>To the KLI grammarians,
>    I'd previously posted this message, hoping pagh could help me tweak the
>tlhIngan Hol dialogue. It seems he might not be able to do so with his e-mail
>problem, but now I'm in a time crunch. I am supposed to video tape the
>commercial on Monday (day after tomorrow) and I need to practice my lines ASAP.
>Please, can you help me. I realize this request is short notice and an
>imposition. Satlho'chu'neSqu'!
>
>                my dialogue in question follows:
>    *********************************************
>ja' pIl'o':

Lessee what we can do.  I'm going to focus on the text of your PSA, not
the surrounding text of your request.

>wej leS PSA vIchenmoH.  tlhIngan vIDa'.  jatlhmeH  mu'meyvam  vIqon.
>
>pagh,  jIlughchu'meH  QaHlIj  chonob.     naDev bIHtaH mu'meywIjvam:
>
>     *Alaska  rewbe'pu'  peqIm!

Good...

>     'Iwraj  poQqa'chu'qu'  *Blood Bank of Alaska.

That does it, time to put the suffixes on my Palm.  Oh, I know what they
are, but I can't always remember the classes.  ghunchu'wI', think about
baking that into your Dictionary file.

Anyway, your suffix order is right.  But is it necessary?  Mmm...  "The
Blood Bank of Alaska COMPLETELY needs your blood again."  Maybe just poQ or
poQqa' or poQqu'qa'?  (they NEED your blood, once again---or rather,
they're back to needing your blood).  The -chu' just feels a little
excessive.  That's a matter of taste, and I'm not even sure of my own
tastes.  charghwI', what do you think?  Others?

Do we want to try translating "Blood Bank of Alaska"?  Likely not; I can't
think of anything I like for "Bank".

>     reH  poQbejtaH  'ach  poQtaHghachvetlh  ghurchoH  yupma'  poH.

The -bej may be a bit much here too, but I can see the use of it.  Do we
know the transitivity of {ghur}?

Knee-jerk reaction to eliminate the -ghach (not necessarily a good
reaction)...

reH poQtaH, 'ach yupma'mo' DaH poQqu'.

Good?

>[ DI'vI' Hol mu'mey:  "blah blah blah..."]
>
>      'Iwraj  yInobvIpQo'!

Drop the -raj.  Good use of -vIp; I like it.

>     Qobbe'.   'oy'moHbe'.

Transitivity of 'oy'?  What is known?

>     'ej  lIbatlhmoHchu'qu'!

{batlh} is only a noun and an adverb, not a verb.  You need {quv}.
{lIquvqu'moH}.  Again not sure the -chu' adds much.  Maybe -bej would be
better: {lIquvmoHbej}/It will definitely make you honored.

>ps.  lughlaw'Ha'  *vowels-wIj'e'  muja'pu'  Qanqor.  ghoghwIjvo'  wabvam
>vIDubchoHlI'.

Practice, practice, practice.  Send me private email if you want my phone #
and I will coach you over the phone.  The important trick is not to get
distracted by what English does.

~mark


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