tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Tue Dec 06 07:33:46 1994

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Re: jIlIHegh 'ach *poem* jImuch



According to Mac Morgan:
> 
...
> >tIq wavlu'bogh
> >
> >Of course, this might be misinterpreted in the literal sense...
> >Be careful how you use it. The wearing of body armor might be
> >advised.
> 
> true... perhaps "soul" or "spirit" would be better...Klingons tend to be
> literalists, don't they?  Unfortunately those are two other word I don't
> know.

Spirit (n) = qa'

I'm pretty sure that's from Power Klingon, in the toast, "May
you encounter the spirit of Kahless in your dreams."

> >{naj} is a verb, not a noun.
> 
> There is no noun for DREAM in TKD, but since it seems consistent with other
> verb/nouns, such as BEAM [jol], BLAME [pIch], CHANGE [choH], GOSSIP [joS],
> et al, I decided to appropriate *naj* as a noun.  Again, I don't intend to
> invoke poetic license; if there's a better word please inform me.

Glen Proechel thinks it is okay to do this. Everybody else
(including explicit instructions in TKD) thinks this is NOT
okay. Okrand can do this. The rest of us cannot. This is one of
the reasons Glen doesn't get more respect here than he does. It
is a convenient crutch for someone translating from a fixed
English text, but it weakens the clarity of the resulting
Klingon text.

...
> Ok...let's start again:  mu'bomwIj vImuchqa'
> 
> 
> Chalmey Doq 
> ---------------------
> nuqDaq chalmey Doq               
>      vInajtaHbogh              
>           vIqawbe'taHviS         

Perhaps this would be clearer as separate sentences?

nuqDaq chalmey Doq
	bIH vInaj
		'ach vIqawbe'

> ghoSlI' jaghmey'a'
>      'a naj qu' law'             
>           Hoch qu' puS          

I'm not sure how the enemies relate to the dream. Would it help
to add {-vam} to {naj}?

> wav'eghDi' tiq'e'               
>      biDDaq HIv biD 'ej        
>           Hoch jeypu'          

A mere suggestion:

wav'eghDI' tIqwIj
	HIvchuq bIDmey
		jey'egh tIq naQ 

Consider replacing all {tIq}s with {qa'}. Your choice.

> chalmey Doq 
>      vInajbe'           
>           vIleghqa'ta'neSpa'         

If I understand the English right, this might be better as:

chalmey Doq
	vIleghqa'ta'pa'
		jInajqa'Qo'.

> ------ Federation Standard ------
> 
> Where are the red skies 
>    of which I dream 
>       but do not remember?
> 
> Enemies come 
>    but the dream 
>       is the fiercest.
> 
> When the heart is divided
>    part against part
>       the whole is defeated.
> 
> I shall not dream 
>    until I see again 
>       the red skies.
> 
> 
> Mac

charghwI'
-- 

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  ">   | Get a grip.
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