tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Thu Apr 05 19:46:49 2007

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Re: Psalm 23

Alpha Omicron ([email protected]) 

Steven Boozer wrote:
> At 04:42 PM Wednesday 4/4/2007, alpha Omicron you wrote:
> 
>> I have made a translation attempt for Psalm 23, looking for corrections.
> 
> Here are a few suggestions just to get the ball rolling...
> 
> (ESV version and notes from http://www.gnpcb.org/esv/search/?q=Psalm+23 )
> 
>> joH ghaH Ha'DIbaH wIjwI'wI''e',
> 
> 1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. [KJV & ESV]
> 
> Word order (Object - Verb - Subject):
> 
>    Ha'DIbaH wIjwI'wI' ghaH joH'e'.
> 
> *{Ha'DIbaH wIjwI'} "animal farmer".  WRT raising animals you could also use 
> {Sep} "breed":
> 
>    Klingons generally {Sep} ("breed") small animals such as {gharghmey}
>    ("worms"). (KGT 89)
> 
> DloraH used *{Ha'DIbaH QorghwI'} in his Gilgamesh translation - from the 
> verb {Qorgh} "take care of, care for" - which I think fits the idea of this 
> psalm better:  G-d takes care of you.
> 
> Some people prefer *{joH'a'} for The Lord, others just use {Qun} "deity, 
> god(dess)".
> 
>> jIneHbe'.
> 
> I've always understood "want" here to mean {Hutlh} "lack, be without" not 
> {neH} "want, desire" - i.e. I shall want for nothing, I shall not lack 
> anything: {vay' vIHutlhbe'} though I suppose {vay' vIneHbe'} "I don't want 
> (desire) anything" also works.  YOu can also substitute {pagh} "nothing" 
> and drop the {-be'}:  {pagh vIHutlh} "I (will) lack nothing" or {pagh 
> vIneH} "I (will) want nothing".
> 
> 
>> yotlh SuDDaq jIQot 'e' rad ghaH;
> 
> 2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; [KJV]
> 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures. [ESV]
> 
> {raD} "force, compel"
> 
> I don't think it's a matter of compulsion.  This is saying that G-d allows 
> {chaw') me to lie down in a beautiful, quiet place.  The idea is that since 
> G-d is watching over me, I can rest {leS} peacefully and safely.  Use 
> {chaw'} "allow, permit, let"
> 
>    yotlh SuDDaq jIleS 'e' chaw' (ghaH)
>    he lets me rest in a green field
> 
>    yotlh SuDDaq jIQotchoH 'e' chaw' (ghaH)
>    he allows me to lie down in a green field
> 
> Note {-choH} "change in state":  {Qot} "lie" vs. {QotchoH} "lie down".
> 
> Also in Klingon the pronoun is optional unless you're stressing it 
> particularly:  *he* (and no one else).  Either way, you should use it or 
> not use it consistently - e.g. the following clause...  The repetition of 
> {ghaH} would tie all the verses together nicely.
> 
>> bIQ tammey retlhDaq muDev.
> 
> 2 he leadeth me beside the still waters.  [KJV]
> 2 He leads me beside still waters. [ESV]
> 
> Put the plural suffix on the noun:  {bIQmey tam} "quiet waters".
> 
>    bIQmey tam retlhDaq muDev {ghaH}
> 
> 
>> qa'wIj choq ghaH;
> 
> 3 He restoreth my soul; [KJV]
> 3 He restores my soul. [ESV]
> 
> {choq} "preserve, save"
> 
> Hmm... I'm not sure exactly what this is supposed to mean.  Some other 
> verbs:  *{choHHa'} from {choH} "alter, change"; {nobHa'} "give back, 
> return"; *{chu'moHqa'} "renew, renovate".
> 
> 
>> pongDajvaD quv HemeyDaq muDev.
> 
> 3 he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.  [KJV]
> 3 He leads me in paths of righteousness [2] for his name's sake. [ESV]
> 
> [2] Or "in right paths"
> 
> For "righteousness" I would (of course!) use {batlh} "honor".   This is a 
> Klingon translation after all.
> 
> Just so you know, Marc Okrand once told SuStel (?) at some qep'a' that {He} 
> "course, route" can *not* be used in a metaphorical or spiritual sense for 
> "way" or "path," such as The Klingon Way or the Way of the 
> Warrior.  However, it can be used for an actual physical route:
> 
>    That is, while it is acceptable to say {He Qob} ("dangerous route"), using
>    {Qob} ("be dangerous") adjectivally, it is ungrammatical to say {He Qom}
>    for ("perilous route"). (KGT 163)
> 
> If the "valley of the shadow of death" in the next line is an actual place 
> - as it may well have been: remember that David was running from place to 
> place in the Judaean Desert trying to avoid King Saul's men - then {He} is 
> quite appropriate.  {jey} "itinerary" may also work, in the sense of a 
> series of destinations {ghochmey} during one's life although I'd imagine 
> Okrand might have the same problem.
> 
> 
>> Hegh QIb ngechDaq jIyIt 'ach choQanmo' mIghwI'mey vIqIHvIpbe';
> 
> 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear 
> no evil: for thou art with me; [KJV]
> 4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, [3] I will 
> fear no evil, for you are with me; [ESV]
> 
> [3] Or "the valley of deep darkness"
> 
> {Hegh QIb ngechDaq} "in death's shadow's valley"
> 
> Another way:  {Hegh ngech HurghDaq} "in death's dark valley"
> 
> 
>>     mujotmoH chonnaQlIj naQlIj je
> 
> 4 thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.  [KJV]
> 4 your rod and your staff, they comfort me. [ESV]
> 
> 
>> SaHDI' jaghwI'pu' jIHvaD Soj DachenmoH;
> 
> 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:  [KJV]
> 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; [ESV]
> 
> One could also say {raS Dacher} "you set up/establish a table".
> 
> 
>> nachwIjDaq taS pI' lan;
> 
> 5 thou anointest my head with oil; [KJV]
> 5 you anoint my head with oil; [ESV]
> 
> Some people have used {ngoH} "smear, paint using fingers" for 
> "anoint".  {lIch} "pour (into/onto anything)" would also work.
> 
> Instead of {pI'} "be fat" use {jeD} "be thick/dense/viscous".
> 
>    nachwIjDaq taS jeD DangoH
>    you smear thick liquid on my head
> 
>    nachwIjDaq taS jeD DalIch
>    you pour thick liquid on my head
> 
> Don't forget the prefix {Da-} "you [do something] to it"
> 
> 
>> naQqu' HIvje'.
> 
> 5 my cup runneth over.  [KJV]
> 5 my cup overflows. [ESV]
> 
> Suffix:  {HIvje'wIj} "*my* cup"
> 
> 
>> mutlha'bej quv parmaq je, jIHeghDI'
> 
> 6  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:  [KJV]
> 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, [ESV]
> 
> {parmaq} "love, romance" is probably not the word you want; it's often 
> closer to "lust".
> 
> 
>> joH tuqDaq jIyIn.
> 
> 6 and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.  [KJV]
> 6 and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. [ESV]
> 
> reH joH juH vIDabtaH
> "I shall always reside/dwell in (continuously) the lord's house"
> 
> {yIn} is "live, be alive".  For live in a place we have a special verb 
> {Dab} "reside in/at, dwell in/at" from KGT which is used without 
> {-Daq}:  {qachvetlh vIDab} "I live in/at that building", {Qo'noS vIDab} "I 
> live on Kronos".
> 
> {reH} with {-taH} is a good way to render "forever".  E.g.:
> 
>    reH 'uQvam vIqawtaH
>    I will remember this dinner forever.  PK
> 
>    reH tlhIngan wo' taHjaj
>    May the Klingon Empire continue forever! PK
> 
>    pa' reH maSuvtaHqu'
>    where ("there") we battle forever. (Anthem)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> --
> Voragh
> Ca'Non Master of the Klingons
> 
> 
> 
> 
Thanks, some of those issues I was aware of. I'm still stuck with 
parmaq, don't know what to replace it with. Oh well, it was just for 
practice and I think it worked nicely.

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