Re: Ten Commandments

["Sangqar (Sean Healy)" <sangqar@hotmail.com>]

I checked the BHS (Biblia Hebraica Stuttgartensia) and I have the following 
suggestions:

>1. 'ej Hoch mu'meyvam jatlh Qun'a'. jatlh:
>2. joH'a', QunlI' jIH. *Egypt* yervo', toy'moHbogh puHvo' qaqengpu' jIH.
The word translated 'the Lord' in the KJV is actually the tetragrammaton, 
the name of God.  IN Hebrew this is YHVH.  The vowel points of the BHS 
indicate a pronunciation of YeHVaH (using lower-case vowels to indicate 
vowel points).  The 'e' is actually a schwa (the 'a' in about), and the 'H' 
is more like an English 'H' than a Klingon 'H'; even so, I would suggest 
{yeHvaH} as a Klingon transliteration.

>3. SoHvaD pagH Qun potlh law', jIH potlh puS, 'e' yIchaw'Qo'.
DloraH has already commented about the double negative here.

>4. pagh nagh beQ yIchenmoH.
>Dung QItu'Daq, bIng yavDaq joq, yav bIng bIQDaq joq,
>pagh'e' tu'lu'bogh rurmeH vay' yIchenmoH.
Someone else mentioned this, and I agree: the Hebrew word here translated 
'heaven' refers to both the sky and the dwelling of God, so I would go with 
{chal}.  Perhaps:
pagh nagh beQ yIchenmoH.  pagh Doch Dung chalDaq tu'lu'bogh, qoj bIng yavDaq 
tu'lu'bogh, qoj yav bIng bIQDaq tu'lu'bogh rurbogh vay' yIchenmoH je.
It's already pretty confusing as is, and probably should be split up even 
more, but trying to make these two sentences a single sentence would be even 
more confusing, so I like the idea of splitting them up.

>5. bIH tlhopDaq DavanmeH yI'eS'eghmoHQo'; 'ej bIH yItoy'Qo':
>Qun ghal jIHmo', joH'a', QunlI' jIHtaHvIS.
>vavpu' HeS vIbIjmeH, puqpu' vInoD.
>mumuSchugh chaH, vaj puq poHvaD wejDIch loSDIch je vInoD.
I would rewrite the first sentence a bit.
bI'eStaHvIS bIH tlhopDaq yIvanQo'; 'ej bIH yItoy'Qo': Qun ghal jIHmo' jIH, 
yeHvaH, QunlI'.

>6. 'ej mumuSHa'chugh nuv, 'ej chut vIra'bogh polchugh,
>chaHvaD pung vI'ang, law'qu'taHvIS chaH je.
The phrase translated 'show mercy' is actually made up of a verb meaning 
'do, fashion, accomplish, make' and a noun meaning 'goodness, kindness, 
faithfulness'.  I hvae no idea where the tranlators of the KJV came up with 
'show mercy'.  Also, 'thousands' actually is 'thousands' in Hebrew as well.

>7. joH'a', QunlI' pong Dalo'DI', yIvuvHa'Qo'.
>pongDaj lo'DI' vuvHa'chugh vay', vaj DIvHa' ghaH 'e' HarQo' joH'a'.
Again the Lord/YeHVeH thing.

>8.*sabbath* jaj batlh DapolmeH, jaj yIqaw.
Since the word is used so often in the Bible, it might be acceptable to 
transliterate it {Sabbat}.  I like the use of {batlh} here.

>9. jav jaj yIvum, 'ej Hoch Qu' yIchav.


>10. 'ach joH'a', QunlI' *sabbath* 'oH jaj SochDIch'e'.
>qaStaHvIS, pevumQo', SoH, puqloDlI' je, puqbe'lI' je,
>toy'wI'loD je, toy'wI'be' je, tangqa'lIj je,
>yergholIj qoDDaq nov'e' tu'lu'bogh je.
Same advice as before for Sabbath and Lord.  Also, the grammatical form you 
have rendered {pevumQo'} is a singular in the Hebrew.  Perhaps  {yIvumQo'.  
vumQo'nIS puqloDlI'...} would work.

>11. vumQo'nIS chaH,
>QItu', yav, bIQ'a', Hoch lungaSbogh je chenmoHmo' joH'a',
>qaStaHvIS jav jaj; 'ej jaj SochDIch leSmo' ghaH.
>vaj *sabbath* jaj naD joH'a', 'ej chev.
The first part of this doesn't appear in the Hebrew (nor in the KJV, so I 
assume you put it in for clarity).  The heaven/Lord/Sabbath advice applies 
again to these verses.

>12. vavlI' SoSlI' je yIquvmoH.
>vaj nI'jaj jajmeylIj, Sep'e' Dunobbogh joH'a', QunlI' DaDabtaHvIS.
Also Lord in this verse.

>13. yIHoHQo'.
Someone already suggested {chot} as a better word here.

>14. tlhogh yIbIvQo'.
>15. yInIHQo'.
>16. jIllI' pummeH 'Ip ngeb yImaqQo'.
I like all of these.

>17. jIllI' juH DaSuqmeH yIQuSQo'.
>jIllI' be'nal, toy'wI'loD joq, toy'wI'be' joq,
>tangqa' joq, Sargh joq, vay''e' ghajbogh jIllI' joq DaSuqmeH yIQuSQo'.
I would suggest {neHqu'} instead of {SuqmeH QuS} here.  Perhaps {neHqu' 'e' 
chaw'}, although the Hebrew word merely indicates desiring or liking.

That's all the advice I have.  My Hebrew is quite rusty; I'm sitting here 
looking at the BHS and a Hebrew dictionary to do this, and I have to check 
my copy of 201 Hebrew Verbs to see what a particular conjugation means, so 
take my advice with a grain of salt.


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