tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Mon Apr 24 15:56:24 2000
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Re: 'IwtlhutlhwI' lut chu'
jatlh Gert K. Sønderby:
> romuluS jIDohta'!
> (I have escaped from Romulus!)
<DoH> is "evade". I think the word you want is <nargh>. You also need a
<-vo'> on the <romuluS> to say that you escaped *from* Romulus.
romuluSvo' jInarghta'.
> QIp HoDma'. may'Dujma' jonmoH ghaH. yInlI'be'.
> (Our captain was stupid. He caused the capture of our
> battlecruiser. He is no longer living.)
The <may'Duj> is not a "being capable of using language", so it gets <-maj>
rather than <-ma'>.
The "He caused the capture of our battlecruiser" part doesn't really work.
The captain did not actively cause someone else to capture your ship, and
that's what <-moH> is for. Instead, you can use a <-mo'> clause:
QIpmo' HoDma', may'Dujmaj jonlu'.
QIp HoDma'. ghaHmo' may'Dujmaj jonlu'.
Also, I think <DaH yInbe'taH> is better for "he is no longer living".
> nuHIv jav romulus may'Duj. nom nuDech 'ej nuQotlh.)
> (6 Romulan warships attacked us. They quickly surrounded
> us and disabled us.)
maj.
> Dujmaj jol romulusnganpu' 'ej batlh DISuv!
> (The Romulans beamed aboard our ship, and we
> fought them with honor!)
Based on what we know about <jol>, the object is the person or thing beamed
rather than the destination. You need to add a <-Daq> to <Dujmaj>.
> nIteb jIjey romulusngan puS.
> (On my own, I defeated several Romulans.
The object <romuluSngan puS> needs to go before the verb, and you need the
proper prefix:
nIteb romuluSngan puS vIjey.
> jupwI'pu' HoH HIghmo'.
> My friends were killed because of dirty fighting.)
It's generally better to put the <-mo'> clause at the beginning, and it
would be easier to read if you add <romuluSngan> as the subject. We know the
Romulans are the ones fighting dirty and killing your friends, but it would
be a little clearer if you said so. Also, <-pu'> goes before <-wI'>.
HIghmo' romuluSnganpu', juppu'wI' HoH.
> jIH mujon.
> (I was captured.
maj.
> jIh qaS nuq?
> What would happen to me?)
<qaS> is "happen", and not "happen to", so you can't have an object of
<jIH>. You could say <DaH qaS nuq?> - "What will happen now?", or you could
rephrase it entirely.
> taH
> (To be continued...)
>> << I know... It's cheeky of me to say it that way... :)
qatlh? <taH> seems perfect for "to be continued".
Overall a good story. Keep going!
pagh
Beginners' Grammarian