tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Fri Jan 31 04:56:33 1997
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Re: weQwIj
- From: "Dr. Lawrence M. Schoen" <[email protected]>
- Subject: Re: weQwIj
- Date: Thu, 30 Jan 97 07:53:55 -0800
- Organization: West Chester University
ghItlh Irene:
> My candle burns at both ends;
> It will not last the night;
> But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends --
> It gives a lovely light.
>
> (Edna St Vincent Millay, 1920)
>
> cha' DaqDaq meQtaH weQwIj chu';
> tugh, tlheDpa' ramvam, loj;
> 'a toH! yIqIm, jaghpu', juppu' --
> 'IH meQtaHvIS, 'ej Doj.
This is one of my favorite poems (a source of great inspiration during my
maniacal undergraduate days). I think you did a very nice job with it,
particularly in capturing the essence of the last line despite the
obvious changes you had to put in.
Two comments though:
1) what is the function of "chu'" in the first line (other than to allow
for rhyme and meter)? Why is your candle new? Edna's wasn't.
2) the juxtaposition of "jaghpu', juppu'" in the third line seems
somewhat grammatically awkward. I keep looking for a "je" to tie them in
rather than having to depend on the comma. This is a minor complaint
though and easily dismissed under the blanket of "poetic license,"
especially as the line flows and works so well as written.
Thank you for bringing this poem to mind (and thanks to Pete Loomer my
11th grade lit teacher who first introduced me to Edna St. Vincent
Millay). Maybe I should dig out my copy of FIGS FROM THISTLES and see
what else lends itself to Klingon?
Lawrence
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