tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Thu Mar 31 12:50:33 1994

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Bhagavad, Part 1



Hu'tegh! nuq ja' Goran Topic jay'?

Well, someone's gotta do it, and I don't see anyone else doing it, and Goran,
you're finding out what it's like to produce loads of text noone reads 
(heheh), but here I go...

I'm providing a back translation so we both know we're handling the same
text.

=jatlh *Dar'araS'a'*:
=nuq luta'ta' lalDan DaqDaq, *quru'* yotlhDaq mughbogh Suvqangbogh
=puqloDpu'wI' *panDu'* puqloDpu' je, *Sanjaya'*?

Said D: S, what did my sons and P's sons, willing to fight (and?) translate
at the Guru field, in the religious place, accomplish?

I don't know why they were translating, but I think you're overloading your
relative clauses. This phrase is opaque.

=jatlh *Sanjaya'*:
=mangghom'e' chenmoHbogh *panDu'* puqloDpu' leghDI',
=SovmoHwI'Daj chol ta' *Duryo'Dana'*.

King D approached his teacher, as soon as he saw the army P's sons built.

=3.
=*panDu'* puqloDpu' mangghomvam tIn'e', chenmoHbogh ghojwI'Daj'e'
=*DarupaDa'* puqloD'e', yIlegh, SovchoHmoHwI'wI'.

Too many -'e's. You're conscripting them for both relative clause head marking
and apposition marking. Drop the latter.

Teacher, see this great army of P's sons, which his student, the son of D built.

=4.
=naDev SaHtaH SuvmeH *'arjuna'* *bI'ma'* je rapbogh
=Suvqu'wI'pu' bachwI''a'pu' je, SuvwI''a' *DarupaDa'* je;

The great warrior D, and warriors and shooters resembling A and B are here
to fight.

You used no -'e' marking here. 

=5.
=*DaraS'aketu'* *cheqIta'na'* *qa'SIra'ja'* je HoSqu',
=*purujIt* *quntIbo'ja'* je *Say'bIya'* je yoHqu';

Strong D, C, and K; Brave P, K and S.

Verbless sentence; I don't trust these in Klingon, particularly as the
adjective can be taken as a verb. Prepose "SaH" before each line.

=6.
=*yuDa'manyu'* tIn je, *SubaDra'* puqloD HoS je,
=*DarupaDa'* puqloDpu' je. lupwI' SuvwI' QaQqu' ghaH.

and Big Y, and S's strong son, and D's sons. He is a good transporter's warrior.

Transporter's warrior? And tIn should be Dun, unless referring to physical
size. He should probably be They.

=7.
='ach HoSqu'wI'ma' yItu', SovwI''a'.
=mangpu'wI' la'pu' qaghuHmoH 'e' yIchaw'neS.

But find our strongest man, Wise One. Let me alert my soldiers' commanders.

=8.
=SuSaHtaH reH SuQapbogh SoH *bISma'* je *karna'* je *karpa'* je,
=*'aSwatta'ma'* *wIqarna'* je *So'maDatta'* puqloD je;

You are always present, you who are always victorious, you, B, K, K, A, W,
and S's son.

=9.
=SaHtaH jIHvaD Heghqangbogh Suvqu'wI'pu' law'.
=nuHmey Sar lo'taH 'ej poH nI' SuvwI' ghaH.

And many warriors ready to die for me are present. They use various weapons
and he (?) is a warrior a long time.

It is safer to use "qaStaHvIS poH nI'" than the in all ways undocumented
bare noun, particularly as it doesn't denote a point in time but a duration.
It's not he, but they.

=10.
=HoSmaj'e' Qanqu'bogh *bISma'* juvlaHbe'lu',
=HoSchaj'e' Qanqu'bogh *bI'ma'* juvlaHlu'.

One cannot measure our strength, protected by B. One *can* measure their
power, protected by B.

Power can be protected?

=11.
=DupQu'DaqrajDaq *bISma'*vaD ngaq bonobnISqu'.

Inside your strategic duty place, you must give support to B.

ngaq is not a noun. What's a strategic duty place? Headquarters? I'd say:

DupQu'DaqrajDaq *bISma'* bongaqnISqu'.

=12.
=chuSqu'wI'Daj lo' *bISma'*, *quru'* vavnI',
=*Duryo'Dana'* belqu'moH;

B, grandfather of K, uses his drum. It pleases D.

=13.
='ej HochDaq chuSqu'wI' Sar lo'lu'.

And in everything a variety of drums is used.

Dat is preferable.

=14.
=lupwI''a'Daq vIHmoHbogh HaDI'baHmey chIS ba'ta'
=*ma'Dawa'* *panDu* puqloD je. chuSqu'wI'chaj lo'.

M and the sons of P sat in the great transporter moved by white animals.
They use their drums.

What is a transporter? If a chariot, just call it a Duj.

=15.
=chuSqu'wI' *panchajanya'* lo' nochta', 'ej *De'waDatta'* lo' jonta'wI',
='ej chuSqu'wI''a' *pawuDra'* lo' *bI'ma'* ghungqu'.

The king of sensors uses the drum P, and the capturer uses D, and hungry B
uses the great drum P.

nochta'?

=16.
=*'anantawIjaya'* lo' *yuDIStIra'*'e' *quntI* puqloD'e'.
=*Sugho'Sa'* *manIpuSpaqaw* je lo' *naqula'* *SaHaDe'wa'* je.

Y, son of K uses A. N and S use S and M.

=17.
=chuSqu'wI'chaj lo' bachwI''a''e' *qa'SI'* ta''e', SaD mang Suvbogh
=	*SIqanDI* je,
=*DaraS'aDyumna'* *vIra'ta'* je, *SatyaqI'* QaplaHbe'bogh vay' je,
=18.
=*Darupada'* *DarupadI* puqloDpu' Hoch je,
=*SawbaDra'*'e' ghop'a'Du''e'.

The great shooter, king of K uses his drum, as do S who fights 1000 soldiers,
D and V, S who noone can win, D, and all D's sons, S the big hands.

"S the big hands" is garbled, and unconnected to the previous. You don't
use head marking, which is... hm. You should use jey rather than Qap for
defeat.

=19.
=*Dar'araS'a'* puqloDpu' ghIjqu'
=chal ghor je chuSqu'moHmo'.

It scared the sons of D. It also broke the sky because it was so noisy.

Full stop after ghIjqu'. If ghIjqu' is meant as an adjective, it won't
work, because it's not stative; the sentence would have then become "it even
broke the sky of D's scary sons, because it was noisy" --- which doesn't
make more sense.

=20.
=ta', Qu'meychajDaq *Dar'araS'a'* puqloDpu' leghDI',
=bachnuHDaj tlhapDI', bachrupDI',
=*QISna'* jatlh Degh qengbogh *'arjuna'*'e':

King, when he saw D's sons inside their duties, having taken his bow and
prepared to shoot, A carrying the emblem spoke K.

*QISna'*vaD jatlh. How can they be "in" their duties? "Qu'meychajvaD vum D 
puqloDpu' 'e' leghDI'" 

=21.
=jatlh *'arjuna'*
=QaghlaHbe'wI', cha' mangghom joj jaH lupwI' yIqaSmoHneS,

A said: Unerring one, make my transporter go in the middle of the two armies

--- you left out the 'e'.

=22.
=Qu'meychajDaq Suvqangbogh Hochvam vISuvnISbogh jIleghlaHmeH.

that I may see all those willing to fight inside their duties, which I must
fight.

-meH clauses go *before* the clause they modify. jI- is wrong for vI-. I'd
say this as:

QaghlaHbe'wi', Qu'meychajvaD Suvqangbogh Hochvam vISuvnISbogh vIleghmeH,

cha' mangghomvam joj jaH DujwIj 'e' yIqaSmoH/
cha' manghghomvam jojDaq DujwIj yIjaHmoH.

=23.
=*Dar'araS'a* puqloD qabqu' lubelmoHmeH SuvmeH
=naDev ghombogh vIlegh 'e' yIchaw'neS.

Let me see D's evil sons who met here to fight to please.

Your word order here is English, not Klingon, and I don't understand what
you mean. Perhaps:

naDev belmeH SuvmeH ghompu'bogh D puqloD qab vIlegh 'e' yIchaw'.
Let me see D's evil sons who met here to fight to be pleased (for their 
pleasure).

-- 
Nick.



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