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Re: Genesis 1:1-5

Scott Willis ([email protected]) [KLI Member] [Hol po'wI']

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Daniel Abraham" <[email protected]>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Monday, February 02, 2004 6:55 AM
Subject: KLBC: Genesis 1:1-5

Sorry this took so long...

> Is there a downloadable version of the KBTP's work
> somewhere?

AFAIK, no. And I've been looking.

I'm drawing my targets from an English-language King James. I'm afraid I do
not speak Hebrew, so some of my questions might seem silly to you. Bear with
me.

I will place two sentences below your translations: my target phrase, lifted
from KJ, comes first, then a literal translation of your sentence.

> bIjaj:
> 1    mungDaq chal ghor je chenmoHta' Qun.

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth."
"At the origin, a supernatural being created the sky and the planet
surface."

One big obstacle that many projects like this run into is that Klingon
really has no word for "God". {Qun} could just as easily refer to
{veqlargh}. IIRC, Dr. Schoen, who has worked on the KBTP, uses {joH'a'}
"great lord". I have also seen {Qun'a'}. (I personally lean toward Dr.
Schoen's choice.)

Like Sangqar, I'm also not so sure about the use of {ghor}. It might be my
English getting in the way, but it seems that it refers to a planet's
surface, as opposed to a planet's atmosphere, or a planet's tectonic plates.
I would go with {yav} "ground".

This use of {mung} "feels" wrong to me, as well. You could try something
like {taghDI' Hoch} "When everything began..."

Also, the use of "In the beginning" already places this in the past. You
needn't indicate it further with aspect. Your first sentence, for instance,
could indicate that when the beginning started, the sky and ground were
already formed.

So, this sentence could be:
{taghDI' Hoch, chal, yav je chenmoH joH'a' (Qun'a' ghap)}
"When everything began, the great lord (or great spirit) caused the ground
and sky to come into being."

> bIjaj:
> 2    'ej chenbe'pu' ghor 'ej chImpu' 'oH, 'ej Hurgh Qargh'a' bIS'ub, 'ej
bIQ
> DungDaq leng Qun qa'.

"The earth was without form and void, and darkness was upon the face of the
deep; and the Spirit of God was moving over the face of the waters."
"And the ground did not take form, and *it* was empty, and the bottom of the
great fissure was dark, and the spirit of God travelled over the water."

OK, let's start with {chenbe' yav}. This may not work with the Hebrew, but
you might want to say something like {tlham Hutlh yav} "The ground lacked
order." (Lit, gravity.) This *might* be closer to the "chaos" idea you spoke
of.
{chIm 'oH} This emphasizes the {'oH}. You are saying explicitly that the
thing that is empty is the ground. Unless this is called for by the Hebrew,
I don't think this is necessary. You can just say {chIm}.
As for combining the {chIm} and the {tlham Hutlh} into one OVS construct, I
can't think of a way to do it. Verbs can't be combined in the way you
suggested; {je} is used to combine nouns.
If you want to stick with {chenbe' yav}, you could combine the two verbs
like this:
{chenbe' 'ej chIm yav}
"The ground did not take form and was empty."
But this is still two separate constructs.
Using {tlham Hutlh}, this part would be:
{chIm yav, 'ej tlham Hulth,}
"The ground was empty, and it lacked order,..."

The rest looks fine.
But, does the Hebrew call for "great fissure", or the like, where the KJ
English calls for "the deep"?

> bIjaj:
> 3    <<wovchoH>> jatlh Qun, 'ej ghIq wovchoHta'.

"And God said, 'Let there be light'; and there was light."
"God said 'It becomes bright'. and then it had become bright."

"Let there be light" has always seemed to be a command to me. Go with what
the Hebrew tells you.
If it is an imperative in Hebrew, use {yIwovchoH!} "Become bright!".
If it's more of a wish statement ("May it become bright"), you could use
{wovchoHjaj (Hoch)} "May (everything) become bright."
If it's a statement, stick with your original {wovchoH}.
Everything else is good.

> bIjaj:
> 4    'ej QaQ wovtaHghachvam 'e' legh Qun, 'ej wovtaHghachvam
> HurghtaHghachvetlh je chev Qun.

"And God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the
darkness."
"And God saw that this 'lightness' was good, and God separated this
'lightness' and that 'darkness'."

I share your reservations about the {-taHghach} thing. You could try
{wovbogh Hoch} "Everything bright", and {Hurghbogh Hoch} "Everything dark".
You could also use {wovwI'} "Thing which is bright", but it seems weak to
me.

As an alternative to {legh}, you could use {tu'} "to find". This use is
supported in canon:
{De' pegh vIghaj. lI' 'e' Datu'. 'uQ wISoppu'DI', maja'chuq}
"I have secret information. You will find it useful. We will talk after
dinner." (PK)

{'ej QaQ wovbogh Hoch 'e' tu' joH'a', 'ej Hurghbogh Hochvo' wovbogh Hoch
chev.
"And God found everything bright to be good, and He separated everything
bright from everything dark."

> bIjaj:
> 5    'ej wovtaHghachvaD <<pem>> pong Qun, HurghtaHghachvaD <<ram>> pong
je;
> choS tu'lu', ghIq po tu'lu' - wa' jaj.

"God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And there was
evening and there was morning, one day."
"And God called the 'lightness' 'day', and the 'darkness' 'night'. There was
twilight, then there was morning. One day."

All the suggestions I had for everything up to {choS tu'lu'} in your
sentence are found above, and would read:
{'ej wovbogh HochvaD <<pem>> pong Qun, 'ej Hurghbogh HochvaD << ram>> pong.}
"And God named everything bright 'Day', and everything dark 'Night'."

This verse has never really been clear to me. Is the original text saying
that "morning" and "evening" come about by virtue of the separation of light
and dark, with these two times serving as a segue into night and day (as
Fall is to Winter, and Spring to Summer?) Or is the text stating that one
morning and one evening happened, and that constituted one day?

If the first is the case, you could try something like:
{choS moj pem, 'ej po moj ram. qaSpu' wa' jaj.}
"Daytime became twilight, and night became morning. One day had happened."

For the second case, you could say:
{qaS po, choS je. wa' jaj 'oH}
"A morning and a twilight happend. It was one day."

Or something similar...

I think I'm done now. Thanks for your patience.

--ngabwI'
Beginners' Grammarian,
Klingon Language Institute
http://kli.org/
HovpoH 701122.4

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