tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Thu Dec 04 18:46:53 2003
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Re: KLBC 'ejDo'wIj
> ghItlh Voragh:
>
> >'ach may'vo' nupol juHqo'
> >
> > > This needs work. I'm not sure {Xvo' nu'uch} works for the idiomatic
"hold
> > > us from X". (It's the use of {-vo'} that bothers me.) Try {bot}
"prevent,
> > > block", {waQ} "obstruct". Possibly {pol} "keep, save, store" may
also
> > work.
> >
> >I agree, this line needs work. I am trying to create the sense that the
> >homeworld ties the Klingon warrior down, that it restrains him, while he
> >longs for battle. Any suggestions?
>
> I still don't think {may'vo' pol} works for "keep away from." In TKW we
have
>
> may'meyDajvo' Haw'be' tlhIngan
> A Klingon does not run away from his battles. TKW
>
> but note that here it's referring to motion away from the battle. {pol}
> "keep, save, store" refers to a static separation. We have no word for
tie
> down - though we do have {bagh} "tie" - or restrain, but we do have {muv}
> "join (physically)" in this line from the Anthem:
>
> batlh maHeghbej 'ej yo' qIjDaq vavpu'ma' DImuv. pa' reH maSuvtaHqu'
> Then we die with honor and join our fathers in the Black Fleet...
>
> So how about:
>
> 'ach juHqo'mo' may'Daq DImuvlaHbe'
>
> 'ach may'Daq DImuvlaHbe' juHqo'mo'
>
> *{muvHa'} might also work:
>
> 'ach may'Daq DImuvHa' juHqo'mo'
>
> Nope; this doesn't really work either, but you can play with the idea.
You
> might also be able to use {rar} "connect, attach" vs. *{rarHa'} and tay'
> "be together/united" vs. *{tay'Ha'}.
What about:
maSuvqang 'ach nubagh juHqo'
"We are willing to fight but the Homeworld restrains us"
That line has the same number of syllables as the line with which it rhymes
<<DIcharghlaH nuchaw'mo' 'ejDo'.>>, and it goes back to my original idea of
the Homeworld tying the warrior down, restraining him from the longed for
battle. What do you think?
ma'Sa
chu'wI'