tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Fri Sep 11 16:10:02 1998

Back to archive top level

To this year's listing

[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next]

RE: KLBC - tera'Daq leng wa'DIchwIj

lab tuv'el:
> 
> KLBC -
> 
> <tera'Daq leng wa'DIchwIj> 'ay' wa'
> lut qon tuv'el, pach puqloD

I don't think I commented on the title last time, but I will this time.
First, the <-wIj> does not go on the number; it goes on the noun. Type 5
suffixes migrate to the stative verb following a noun, but <-wIj> is a
type 4 suffix, and <wa'DIch> is a number, not a stative verb. Second, it
really looks like you're trying to use a type 5 suffixed noun to modify
another noun, like <maSDaq loD> for "The man in the moon". There has
been some controversy over this, but there is no reason to believe it
can work, so it's probably best to stay away from it. Since your title
is a sentence fragment and not a full sentence, it is probably OK, but
don't do it in a real setence.

In general, English uses noun phrases as titles for stories, books,
chapters, etc. There is no reason Klingon has to act the same way. I
would suggest something like <tera' vISuch> for a title. Just something
to think about.

> jogh wa'Daq tera' tu'lu'. Human juHqo' 'oH. 
> qIbvamDaq tera' Huj law' Hoch qo' Huj puS. 
> tera' mach law' Qo'noS mach puS. vaj jIHvaD 
> tera' tlham pujlaw'. 

Remember - OVS. <pujlaw' tera' tlham>

> <San veranSISqo'> vengDaq  jIpawDI' Qapbe'qa' 
> mughwI'wIj. Do' jIQuptaHvIS DIvI' Hol vIHaD. 
> jIghung; qagh vIrur. vaj tera' Soj qub jabbogh

Did you really look for a restaurant that served <Soj qub>. I would
associate <Soj qub> with really expensive restaurants. I suspect there
are only one or two Italian restaurants in San Francisco that would even
want to claim to serve <Soj qub>. Probably just <Soj> would be better.

> Qe' vInej. <'Italyan> Qe' vItu' 'ej vI'el. 
> jabwI'vaD jIjatlh <jIHvaD Soj tlhorgh yIqem>. 
> Sojqoq qembogh tlhorghHa'qu'. 

OVS again - <tlhorghHa'qu' Soj qembogh>.

> vutwI' quv vIlegh 'e' vIpoQ 'ej jIjatlh 

Something I didn't comment on last time, but the Klingon <legh> is not
as broad as the English "see". The Klingon <legh> can only mean
perceiving something with your eyes. Perhaps <qIH> would work here.

> <Sojvam vISoplaHbe'. DaH jIHvaD soj jej yIqem!> 

Typo - <Soj>

> muyajHa'mo' jIHvaD pIpyuS pach qem. mebpa'meyDaq jIpawDI' qagh
> vISuq 'e' vInID 'ach qagh Qop neH vIHev jay'! tera' vISuchqa'chugh
> tlhIngan leng Soj law' vIqembej.


> <tera'Daq leng wa'DIchwIj> 'ay' cha'
>
> tunqu' QongDaqwIj vaj ravDaq jIQong. 

This is fine, but I want to point out an alternative phrasing:
<tunqu'mo' QongDaqwIj, ravDaq jIQong>.

> jIvemDI' <San DI'eygho'> vengDaq Hu vIleghmeH jIjaH.

maj. This twists an English speaking mind a bit, but the Klingon is
fine. Also, this use of <legh> is just fine. You are doing more than
just looking, but that is your primary focus. <Such> would work here
too.

> HochHom tera' Ha'DIbaHmey vIlegh. mong tIqqu' ghajbogh
> Sargh tIn rur Ha'DIbaH 'e' vIlegh. 

This is a bit odd. "I saw that an animal resembled a sark with a long
neck." As a minimal change, I would suggest "I saw an animal which
resembled ..." : <... Sargh tIn'e' rurbogh Ha'DIbaH vIlegh>. The <-bogh>
clauses are getting a bit deep here, though, and this use of <ghaj> is a
bit awkward anyway. It's even a little strange in English. As an
example, charghwI' likes to put this in his .sig: <tlhIngan jIH, 'ach
Human tIq vIghaj ... ghopwIjDaq>. Instead of saying "It has a long
neck", just say "It's neck is long".

Sargh tIn rurbogh Ha'DIbaH vIlegh. tIqqu' mongDaj.

> jIjatlh <Sargh rurlaw' Ha'DIbaHvetlh.> 
> muQoy tera'ngan be'Hom Qup 'ej mujang 
> <ghobe'. <jI'rav> 'oH Ha'DIbaHvetlh'e' 
> 'ach bIQ'a'Daq yIn Sarghmey.> bIQDep 
> yoSDaq jI'elpa' ghaH vIyajbe'qu' jIH.
> <SarIq> vIlegh. norgh rur tera' 
> Ha'DIbaHvam. vaj mIS tera'ngan be'Hom. 

quSDaq bIba'. mIStaH tera'nganpu' net Sov.

> Qo'noS Ha'DIbaHvaD 'ay' ngaS Hu.

You used <yoS> to mean the same thing you are using <'ay'> for here. I
think <yoS> works, and consistency is a good thing. Also, I think your
meaning is better expressed without the <-vaD>.

> pa'Daq vIratlhtaHvIS tlham HoS vItIvchu'.

<pa'> never gets a <-Daq> suffix, unless you are using the "room"
meaning, which I don't think you are.

> Qo'noS ghor rurbej 'ay'vam
> 'ach wa' Qagh Sagh tu'lu'.
> SorDaq So'taHbogh yIH 'up tu'lu'! 
> vIHoH 'e' vInID 'ach Surchemmo' jIbot. 

<bot> is "prevent, block, inhibit", so you need to say <... 'ach mubot
Surchem>.

> Hu ra'wI' vIchuH. Qo'noSDaq yIHmey yInbe'qu'.

Normally, I would suggest <Dab> for this type of usage, but in this
case, "they do not live" is quite literally true. maj.

> yIHmey muSchu'qu' Hoch tlhInganpu'. tlhIngan juHqo' 
> 'oHHa' yIHmey juHqo''e'. 

<'oHHa'>. Wow. This is just really strange. I think I like it.

> jImer QeHqu'choHmo' ghaH. 

This is fine, but I think it would be a bit better with the <-mo'>
clause before the <jImer>.

> nongqu'laH Humanpu' 'e' vISovbe'; 
> vulqanganpu' rurbe''a'? 
> <tay> Qe' jItu'. qabqu'be' <tay> Soj.

Should be <vItu'>. Note that "not too bad" is not as complimentary in
Klingon as it is in English.

Also, just to make my life easier, when radically switching topics,
start a new paragraph.

> veb: <perIS> veng

bIqonqa' 'e' vIloS.

> "My first voyage to Earth" part I
> story composed by Tuv'el, son of Claw
> 
> Earth is found in the alpha quadrant.  It is the homeworld of 
> Humans. Earth is the strangest world in this galaxy.  Earth is 
> smaller than Kronos, so Earth's gravity seemed weak to me.  
> When I arrived in the city of "San Francisco" my translator 
> stopped working again. Luckily, I studied <English> while I 
> was young.  I was as hungry as gagh, so I looked for a restaurant 
> that served Earth cuisine.  I noticed an <Italian> restaurant 
> and I went in.  I said to the waiter, "Bring some pungent food 
> for me."  The so-called food he brought was very bland.  I 
> demanded to see the head cook and I said, "I cannot eat this 
> food. Bring me sharp food, now!"  Because he misunderstood me, he 
> brought me pipius claws.  When I arrived at the hotel, I tried to 
> order gagh, but I received only dead friggin' gagh!  If I visit 
> Earth again, I will certainly bring a lot of Klingon food to go.
> 
> "My first voyage to Earth" part II
> 
> My bed was too soft so I slept on the floor.  As soon as I woke up, I
> went to the city of "San Diego" to see the zoo.  I saw most of the
> animals of Earth.  I saw an animal that looked like a large sark with 
> a very long neck.  I said, "That animal seems to resemble a sark."  A
> little Terran girl heard me, and replied, "No, that's a giraffe. Sarks
> live in the ocean."  I didn't understand her before I entered the fish
> area. I saw a "shark."  This Earth animal looked like a norg.  So, the
> Terran girl was confused.  The zoo contained a section for the animals
> of Kronos.  While I was there, I absolutely enjoyed the stronger 
> gravity.  This section undoubtedly resembled the surface of Kronos, 
> but there was one serious error.  There was a disgusting tribble 
> hiding in a tree!  I tried to kill it but was prevented by a force 
> field.  I explained clearly to the zoo's commander.  Tribbles do not 
> live on Kronos.  All Klingon's utterly detest tribbles.  The Klingon 
> homeworld is not the homeworld of tribbles.  I was surprised because 
> he became very angry.  I didn't know Humans could be so passionate.  
> Do they not resemble Vulcans?  I found a "Thai" restaurant.  "Thai" 
> food is not too bad.

majQa'. yIqonqa'.


pagh
Beginners' Grammarian

Back to archive top level