tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Fri Feb 06 21:22:30 1998
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Re: KLBC:QonoS ra'wI' QIv baroS SD98020.5
- From: Qov <[email protected]>
- Subject: Re: KLBC:QonoS ra'wI' QIv baroS SD98020.5
- Date: Fri, 06 Feb 1998 21:21:17 -0800
At 16:04 98-02-06 -0800, Lt. Cmdr. Barrows wrote:
}I hate to think
}I'm contributing to the overburdening of our esteemed BG, but I want to
}continue the upsurge I began at qep'a' loSDIch. {{:-)> cholughmoH 'e'
}vIpoQneS.
Learn from your mistakes and improve and I have no objections to marking it.
In longer posts I might be missing something so don't assume that a
construction I didn't comment on is correct. Never assume that, in fact.
Always ask if I overlook something suspicious. Either you'll confirm your
own understanding, or you'll learn something.
}QonoS ra'wI' QIv baroS
}Hovjaj 98020.6
}
}puSHu' *outpost* wejmaH javDaq majaH 'e' wIra'lu'.
What is the object of the verb {ra'}? You've given it two contradictory
objects. Also, a style point: {'e' X-lu'} is usually expressed as {net X}.
Leave off the {wI-} and if you think the fact that the order was addressed
to you isn't clear, prepend a {maHvaD}. "One ordered [to us] that we go to
OP 36."
}yuQDaq ratlhmo' beqpu' puS, SIbI' majaHbe'pu'.
}A few of our
}crewmembers were still on the planet, so we didn't go right away
Using the perfective here shifts the context to a time after the not going
was complete, and sure enough, in the next sentence ...
}DaHjaj pa' majaH.
... context is today. Perfective justified.
}luHIvpu'lu' *outpost* 'e' wItu'.
Suffix order error. {-lu'} is V5, {-pu'} is V7.
}ngoy'bej romuluSnganpu' 'e' vIHar.
}[lit. I believed the Romulans were surely responsible']
}I was sure the Romulans had done it .
Bit of a contradiction here. The suffix {-bej} indicates absolute
certainty, and then you temper it with {'e' vIHar}. Take the average and
say {ngoy'ba' romuluSnganpu'}. Your English even implies that {-bej} is
appropriate. Don't add the {'e' vIHar}, that it is your opinion is clear
from the suffix and the first person narrative.
}*outpost* wIHotlh, 'ach QIHvaD ngoy'law' DIvI'.
}but it appeared that the Federation was responsible for the
}damage.
Hmm. I don't like {QIHvaD ngoy'}. I'd take {puqvaD ngoy'} as "responsible
for the child" meaning that the subject was going to look after the child,
answer for its crimes, and so forth. {X-vaD ngoy'} is be responsible ... so
that X is the beneficiary of your responsibility. I think that English "be
responsible for" meaning "be to blame for" should not be translated with
{ngoy'}. I may be wrong.
Perhaps: {QIH pIch ghajlaw' DIvI'}
}*outpost* QIHlaw' pu'DaH. pu'DaH lo'be' romuluSnganpu'.
pu'DaH being an inherently plural noun it is grammatically singular, making
that {lulo'be'}. You might use the perfective here: {QIHlaw'pu'}. You're
talking about an action that was complete at the at the time under
discussion, the time of the survey.
}nISwI'mey lo' chaH.
}DIvI'Daq 'urmang tu'lu''a'? qaSpu' wanI'vam.
}
}chaq, vIQub, yuQvo' wISuQbogh De' neH vay'.
You're using {Qub} as a verb of saying. Whether you can do this and whether
you can break up the thing said to go before and after the verb of saying
are moots that some here may argue against. But at any rate, a verb used as
a verb of saying takes the no object prefix. {Suq} is acquire, {SuQ} be
toxic. Remember OVS: {De' wISuqbogh} - "the information we acquired."
Again perfective would be useful here, {De' wISuqpu'bogh} - you had acquired
the information before the time in question.
}yuQ wIchovtaHvIS, *outpost*Daq rop chenmoH Qulpu' tej DIvI' 'e' wItu'.
}
}When we were investigating the planet, (2) we discovered that
}Federation scientists had been studying the creation of disease at the
}outpost. (3)
}3) On re-reading this I wondered whether I should have used a <-taHghach> on
}<chenmoH> to 'nounify' it. It's the process of creating disease the scientists
}were researching ... I just thought <chenmoHtaHghach> was a bit of a monster.
}::shrug::
I was looking for a way to get you out of using a verb for a noun the way
you have, but you've just supplied it yourself.
{rop chenmoHbogh mIw luQultaH DIvI' tej}
"Federation scientists were studying the disease creation process"
(lit. ... "the process that creates disease" OR "the disease that is created
by a process." And as they were kind of studying the whole system, that's
kind of cool.
Note that you had the noun noun backards for "fed scientists," and watch
prefixes.
Also, in real life, disease research is a {QultaH} kind of thing, but this
is Star Trek where {QullI'} might be more appropriate (they research it,
they [always] find the answer. They stop. They forget all about ever having
solved this problem.)
}yuQDaq chovtaHvIS beq ghom wa', ropchoH chaH.
}While the first away team [lit. 'crewmember group one'] was
}investigating the outpost, they got sick.
Crewmember group one could have been the first to go down, but not
necessarily. Maybe crewmember group 17 was the first. Use {wa'DIch} after
the noun to say "first."
}yuQDaq macheghDI' *BJ*, *Michael*, jIH je, QojmeH rop lo' 'e' Hechlaw'
}DIvI' 'e' wItu'. mayay'. *outpost* wejmaH javDaq De'vam maqem 'e' wIra'lu'.
{De'vam wIqem}, and you've done that {'e' wIra'lu'} thing again. Don't.
You see hy, qar'a'?
}De' wIghaj nuq Sov mochpu'maj 'e' vIHar.
}I believe that our superiors knew what information
}we had.
{nuq} should be placed in a sentence in the location where the word that is
the answer to the question will go. No question --> no {nuq}. No nukes.
Note also that your superiors are people, {-ma'} not {-maj}, and you have
put two main verbs in one sentence.
{De' wIghajbogh ngu'law'pu' mochpu'ma'}
"Our superiors had apparently identified the information we had." (Or use
guessed or suspected or whatever is appropriate.)
}De' maH je Qaw' neH 'e' vIHar.
A group that includes yourself is a first person plural. (Didn't I get you
for this in your last transmission, too? Small whap with the dull side of
the betleH, if so.)
{De' maH je nuQaw' neHlaw'} No reason to use {'e' vIHar} when {-law'} does
that job.
}vaj *outpost* maghoS 'e' ra', 'ej Qaw'. 'ach pa' maSaHbe'.
{wIghoS}. {ghoS} takes a direct object.
}ngoDvam tu'chugh vay', wItlha'lu' 'ej wIHIvlu' 'e' vIpIH. ngoDmey teH
wItu'nIS.
{DItu'nIS}
Qov [email protected]
Beginners' Grammarian