tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Tue Nov 13 12:55:21 2007
[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next]
Re: FW: translation
At 03:13 PM Wednesday 11/7/2007, Jonathan Webley wrote:
>I recently received the email below, requesting a translation.
>
>>From: Ronnie Heeps [mailto:[email protected]]
>>Sent: 06 November 2007 16:58
>>
>>I am an artist working in Scotland and am currently making a large sculpture
>>carved in granite which will be on display in a forest in Scotland
>>It is in the form of a strange meteorite.
>>I want to put a mesage on it and I want the message to be in Klingon
>
>These are some of my attempts. Does anyone else want to try?
All in all, very good. I do have a few suggestions.
>Due to bad management by its current inhabitants.
>=================================================
>
> "Because the inhabitants have mismanaged it..."
> {luvu'Ha'mo' nganpu'...}
maj.
> Because the present inhabitants have mismanaged it...
> luvu'Ha'mo' nganpu' SaH...
>
>(Though I think this might also translate as "Because the
>inhabitants have mismanaged it, they care".)
{SaH} "be present (not absent)"
{SaH} "care for, be concerned about"
You're right, but punctuation (and a pronoun) can differentiate these two
possibilities:
luvu'Ha'mo' nganpu' SaH.
luvu'Ha'mo' nganpu', SaH (chaH).
luvu'Ha'mo' nganpu'; SaH (chaH).
>The Klingon Empire claim the right to take this planet for the benefit of
>the greater universe.
>=========================================================================
>
> "The Klingon empire claim this planet for the universe."
> {'u'vaD yuQvam DoQ tlhIngan wo'.}
maj.
> "The Klingon empire claims this planet for the whole universe."
> {Dol 'u'vaD yuQvam DoQ tlhIngan wo'.}
This would be "for the whole's universe". {Dol} "entity, a whole" in canon:
wa' Dol nIvDaq matay'DI' maQap
We succeed together in a greater whole. TKW
"Do you know why we are so strong? Because we are a unit. Each of
us is part of a greater whole." [Kor, TOS "Errand of Mercy"]
You want the quality {naQ} "be whole, be entire" here:
'u' naQvaD yuQvam DoQ tlhIngan wo'.
The Klingon empire claims this planet for (the benefit of) the
whole/entire universe.
This works better if we see the entire (!) sentence together:
luvu'Ha'mo' nganpu' SaH, 'u' naQvaD yuQvam DoQ tlhIngan wo'.
Because the present inhabitants have mismanaged it, the Klingon Empire
claims this planet for (the benefit of) the whole universe.
I might even move {yuQvam} to the front:
yuQvam luvu'Ha'mo' nganpu' SaH, 'u' naQvaD DoQ tlhIngan wo'.
Because the present inhabitants have mismanaged this planet, the Klingon
Empire claims it for (the benefit of) the whole universe.
Or you could use {qo'} "world" and {yuQ} "planet" together:
qo'chaj luvu'Ha'mo' nganpu' SaH, 'u' naQvaD DoQ tlhIngan wo'.
Because the present inhabitants have mismanaged their world, the Klingon
Empire claims this planet for (the benefit of) the whole universe.
>This rock is an official legally binding claim marker.
>======================================================
>
> "This rock is a legal marker."
> {ghItlh nub 'oH naghvam.}
>
> "This rock is a legal claim marker"
> {DoQmeH ghItlh nub 'oH naghvam.}
Typo: use {mub} "be legal". {nub} means "be suspect"! <g>
Also {... 'oH naghvam'e'}. The topic marker {-'e'} is required with
pronoun-as-verb statements.
Speaking of which, "marker" is tricky. I like {DoQmeH ghItlh} for an
actual document or proclamation (e.g. a poster). Since this is for a
sculpture, why not just say {Hew} "statue"? Or how about {potlh}
"consequential thing, something important"?
potlh mub 'oH naghvam'e'.
This may be less awkward sounding in Klingon. A {potlh De'} is a "priority
message":
HoD, yo' SeHyaH nIvvo' potlh De' wIHevtaH
Captain, we are receiving a priority message from [Fleet] Operations
Command. (ST5 notes)
>We will be arriving soon,
>=========================
>
> {tugh mapaw,}
maj.
>your future is assured.
>=======================
>
> "You will certainly survive."
> {SutaHbej.}
>
> "You will certainly continue to survive."
> {SutaHbejtaH.}
Both are fine, if that's what "assured" actually means in this case. The
original text is ambiguous - what type of assurance is meant: physical
survival? genocide? mass deportation? slavery? The last option BTW is the
usual fate of such planets:
"I have seen what the Klingons do to planets like yours. They are
organized into vast slave labor camps. No freedoms whatsoever ...
You'd be far better off on a penal planet. Infinitely better off."
(Kirk to the Organians, "Errand of Mercy")
*{jeghpu'wI'} "conquered people" - "more than slaves, less than
citizens, this status is given to occupants of worlds conquered
by the Klingon Empire."
(Keith R.A. DeCandido's novel "Diplomatic Implausibility")
DIHIvbe'ch[ugh] qo'chajDaq toy'wI''a' DImoj
Attack or be slaves in their world. (Gen. Khmarr to Azetbur, ST6)
If we want to be ambiguous - so as not to overly alarm the natives - we can
use the equally ambiguous {San} "fate":
Sanraj qellu'pu'.
Your fate has been taken into account.
Sanraj wuqlu'pu'.
Your fate has been decided.
or more directly:
Sanraj wIqelpu'.
We have taken your fate into account.
We have considered your fate.
Sanraj wIwuqpu'.
We have decided (upon) your fate.
We even have a bit of canon for the latter option:
ngoch luchermeH 'ej wo' San luwuqmeH pa' ghom tlhIngan yejquv DevwI'pu'
where the leaders of the Klingon High Council meet to determine policy
and decide upon the fate of the Empire. S25
--
Voragh
Ca'Non Master of the Klingons