tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Thu Jun 03 08:09:33 2004
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Re: Translation
From: "Steven Boozer" <[email protected]>
> Tyler Fisher:
> > Here's a line of dialogue I've translated into Klingon.
> > Tell me if you think I did an okay job:
> >
> > {vay' DaSeHlaHbe'bogh DabuSchugh, HoS Danatlh neH
> > 'ej jagh DachenmoH.}
> > Thinking about what you can't control only wastes
> > energy and creates its own enemy.
>
> A small suggestion: I would either omit "its own" or add {-Daj}. {jagh
> DachenmoH} means only "you create an enemy". And since {-Daj} could refer
> to any of the nouns {vay'}, {HoS} or {jagh} I'd tag the topic with {-'e'}:
>
> vay''e' DaSeHlaHbe'bogh DabuSchugh, HoS Danatlh neH 'ej jaghDaj
DachenmoH.
I don't agree with the {-Daj}: "its" in "its own enemy" in the English
doesn't refer to the thing you can't control, it refers to the "thinking."
"Thinking . . . creates its own enemy." However, Tyler's Klingon sentence
changes the grammar from talking about "thinking" to talking about "you."
*You* merely expend energy and *you* create an enemy.
And without the {-Daj}, there's really no reason to add the {-'e'} either.
Tyler started with an English sentence and translated it into Klingon. His
translation was excellent: it entirely captured the meaning of the original
without paying attention to the original grammar. This is the kind of work
translators should strive for.
SuStel
Stardate 4423.3
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