tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Fri Sep 20 01:55:54 2002
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Re: Temptress of the stars - text
Thanks for your quick help on this long text!
Am 19.09.2002 16:48:46, schrieb Steven Boozer <[email protected]>:
>To start with, a general suggestion: Instead of using {ghaH} in nearly
>every line for "she", try alternating it with {be'} "the woman". {ghaH}
>"he/she" is ambiguous in Klingon anyway, and using the pronoun only serves
>to distinguish the object or subject from {chaH} "them" with third person
>verbs.
That's why I used it. in this story, it's only "they" and "she". But using {be'} instead is a good idea.
>>1.a) HaStaDaq be' 'IH ghaH
>>"She was beautiful on the screen"
>
>HaStaDaq 'IH be'.
>The woman is/was beautiful on the visual display (on monitor).
this could be confused with {'IHbe'} "she is not nice". What I wrote above means "At the screen, she was a nice woman."
>>1.b) jIHDaq be' 'IHqu' bejlu'
>>"On the viewing screen, a beautiful lady could be seen."
>
>Better.
I prefer this one also.
>>2.a) yoq rur porghDaj 'ach/'ej Hujqu' Her body looked humanoid, but/and
>>strange
>>2.b) yoq rur 'ach Hujqu' she looked humanoid but strange.
>>2.c) yoq ghaH 'ach Hujqu' she was humanoid but strange.
>
>All good, but why {Hujqu'}? Isn't {Huj} "be strange" strong enough?
I don't know. :-) I think I just put it there to have another syllable.
>I'm not sure I understand what you mean by "tickle". Are you saying her
>voice raised your hackles? Our only example of {qotlh} is
I think it means that she has a nice voice.
>You might try {DuQ} "touch (emotionally)": [...]
>or {pIl} "be stimulated, be inspired, be motivated" and {pIlmoH}
Okay, I'll think about it.
>BTW, {tlhu'wI'} is "one who is tempted", i.e. her
>victim. "Tempter/Temptress" would be {tlhu'moHwI'}.
Oh, ya. I missed it.
> ghoSbogh ghot wa'DIch ghaH ya'e'.
> the tactical officer was the first person who goes
Thanks!
>>8. Qobbe' ghor nuja' "he said the surface is not dangerous."
>>[Originally, this was "he told us the surface is safe."]
>
>There's a slang term: {QaD} "be safe, be protected" in KGT (p.161):
No, here it's a different meaning. it's not
"the planet is not in danger, it is safe, it is protected"
but
"the planet is not dangerous, it is safe for you to beam down."
QaD doesn't work here.
>BTW, {qotlhchu'ghachna'mo'}... yechh! How about
>
> qotlhchu'mo' be'vetlh, nutoj.
> Because of that woman tickled him perfectly, he deceived us.
also:
"Because that woman tickles perfectly, she deceived us."
I think I should add a noun to make clear, who is the subject, because first the subject is the object of another subject.
>{latlh} is "another one". Another what? Try:
Can it not stand alone?
like {latlh vIneH} "I want another one."
>>15. majeHpu'mo' wIvonlu' we were trapped because we'd been absentminded
>Right: {wIvonlu'} "something traps us". I'm never sure of the prefixes
>when using [-lu'} either.
It's not about the {-lu'}, it's because in KGT, MO says {bIvonlu'pu'} ("You have failed completely"; literally, "You have been trapped"). So
I thought that perhaps in slang, the prefix has no object, or maybe this is just another error?
>Another error? Shouldn't this be {Davonlu'pu'}, like {batlh Daqawlu'taH}
>"You will be remembered with honor"?
I think so.
>>17. pe'vIl tlhu'bogh ghewmey nuje'taHvIS While she fed us with "love-bugs"
>>[I don't know what the author means with that]
>
>Why did you add {pe'vIl}, which is not in the original?
what original?
I put it, because she forced us to eat them, she made us eat them. I didn't want {SopmoH} or so.
>>19. tlho' nughojmoH She taught us gratitude.
>maj. Nice use of the "prefix trick".
Oh, yes, you're right. I didn't even notice :-)
>>20. 'ej tlhu'bogh qotlhchu'ghach? nughojmoH ?? and the tempting tickling.
>>[you see the question marks...]
>Other than using {tlhu'moHbogh}, I'm not sure what this is suposed to mean.
"She taught us gratitude and the tempting tickling."
That's two things they learned from her: gratitude and tickling
>>21. toy'wI'a'Daj wIDaqang We behaved willingly as slaves.
>Prefix: {DI-} "we [do something to] them":
>
> toy'wI'(pu')Daj DIDaqang
> we behaved as her willing slaves
You're right, but {toy'wI'} is "servant", {toy'wI''a'} a slave.
>As above, "tempter/temptress, one who tempts (others)" is {tlhu'moHwI'},
>not {tlhu'wI'} "one who is tempted". So:
>
> tlhu'moHwI'na' "true tempter"
> tlhu'moHwI' be' "tempter woman"
> be' tlhu'moHwI' "woman tempter"
she doesn't tempt women.
> tlhu'moHbogh be' "woman who tempts"
I don't know if all these are so nice. Maybe I'll find something completely different.
>{puQ} "be fed up". This is an English idiom meaning to be extremely
>frustrated, angry, annoyed. It does not mean "be sated". You want {yon}
>"be satisfied".
Oh, there you see that one can learn english while learning Klingon :-)
>As for {tatlh'egh}, Okrand wrote on st.klingon (July 1999):
> to that of chegh: pa'Daq jItatlh'egh "I return to the room" ... The
> tatlh'egh form seems to suggest that the doer of the action is forcing
> himself/herself to do something, perhaps because it is difficult or not
> desirable.
The returning to the ship was not "desirable", they had to return, although they didn't want to go back (you can imagine what a lady with seven
mouths could do... forget it :-). That's why I said that she "made them return themselves" to the ship.
>I think plain {tatlh} "return (something)" works here. Okrand wrote int he
>same st.klingon post:
What about {cheghmoH}? "cause to return"? Oh no, transitive verb with {-moH} could be no good.
>maj. I assume you're using so many {-bejmey} and {ghaHmey} so it fits the
>music.
right. Well, actually, I think in this kind of music, they can make verything fit. But I added some of these additional syllables just in case
they might need them.
>>28.b) pa' majaHjaj? May we go there.
>
>Drop the question mark: {pa' majaHjaj} "May we go there", though this
>sounds awkward in English.
I put the question mark because I was not sure about that sentence, it's not part of the sentence.
>I agree. 28a or 28c are better.
>--
>Voragh
>Ca'Non Master of the Klingons
Thanks!
Quvar.
ghojwI'pu'lI' tISaH.