Re: AKQ

[willm@cstone.net]

> Greetings.
> I am translating a website for a Computer Game Mod "A Klingon's Quest"
> http://www.tronalphaone.de/akq/
> It's a description of the game. I translated it not very literally, I would 
> just like to know if it is grammatically correct.

qaDvam vItIv.
 
> 5 years after the last honorfull battle against the dominion, the clouds upon 
> Qo'nos are darkening again. Strange Things are happening in the capitol - The 
> High Council is helpless. During the last month the number of missing people 
> doubled itself. Normally not that suspicious, but there seems to appear a 
> pattern in the cases. Klingon Intelligence assumes a connection to the Kohan 
> sect but can't confirm the reports.

> As a reliable intelligence officer you are assigned to the mission to take a 
> closer look at the sect.
> 
> vagh ben *dominion* jeychu', 'ach DaH HurghchoHqa' Qo'noS wo'.
> monDaq qaS wanI' taQ - yajlaHbe' yejquv.

monDaq qaS wanI'mey taQmo' lI'be'choH yejquv.

> qaStaHvIS wa' jar, ngab nuvpu' law', qaStaHvIS latlh ngab puS.

qaStaHvIS wa'wen ngab cha' jar ngabbogh nuvpu' mI' motlh.

Maybe <qaStaHvIS wa' jar qen> is preferable to <qaStaHvIS wa'wen>. I'm not sure 
about whether {wen} is useful to describe duration or just as a time stamp. 
<wa' jar qen> is perhaps more certainly okay for a duration, but again, I don't 
know for sure how Okrand indicates a time span measured relative to now. I'm 
just assuming that either of these would be interpreted as "the time span 
between a month ago and now". For all I know, they would interpret them to mean 
a time span centered on the moment defined as a month ago. These idiomatic 
things have become so natural to us in a language we know that we don't even 
recognize them as such. Okrand was pointing this out on the audiotape 
Conversational Klingon, when he talked about how Klingons see a day as measured 
from dawn to dawn instead of the more typical human measuring of it from 
midnight to midnight.

> motlh pIHbe' ghu'vam, 'ach ngabDI' vay' reH pat tu'lu'law'.

motlh pIHbe' ghu'vam, 'ach rurchuq wanI'meyvam. I'm not sure {pat} extends 
beyond machinery, electronics and other coordinated devices. {mIw} is probably 
closer to what you were seeking.

> pIch ghaj *Kohan* tlhach 'e' Har tlhIngan wo' ghoqwI' 'ach toblaHbe'.
> DaH ghoqwI' yaS matlh SoH. tlhach bejchu'ghach 'oH Qu'lIj'e'.

qara': tlhach bejchu'meH Qu' yItoy'.

Overall, your translation is quite good. I'm not suggesting that you abandon 
anything you have and adopt my suggestions. I'm just giving you food for 
thought. Take what you like of this and ignore the rest.
 
> I have some things where I am not sure if that's a way to say it, but I 
believe it's okay
:-)
> 
> Lieven.

charghwI'