tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Wed Oct 17 18:12:23 2001

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RE: KLBC: Limmerick vIqonta'



During the day I tried to figure out a correct way to write this, and still
fit the poetic pattern.  End result:  for poetry it is far easier to create
in klingon than it is to translate from english.


> Q'onoSDaq loDHom jatlh,
> A boy from Kronos did say,

Spelling:  Qo'noS
Remember the basic sentence structure, Object-Verb-Subject (OVS)
If the boy is doing the speaking, loDHom goes after jatlh.
Qo'noSDaq isn't "from Kronos", it's "on Kronos".  There are a couple ways to
do this.
Qo'noSvo' ghoSbogh loDHom, "A boy which came from Kronos"
Qo'noS loDHom, "A boy of Kronos"

jatlh Qo'noS loDHom
But now you have a different last syllable to rhyme with.


> wa'leS mutu'bej batlh.
> Tomorrow honor will surely find me.

This one is good.


> pIj may''a' naj,
> Often he dreamed of a great battle,

naj is only "dream", not "dream of/about".
A canon example with naj:
bInajtaHvIS qeylIS Daghomjaj
May you encounter Kahless in your dreams.

Perhaps we could utilize buS
pIj najtaHvIS  may''a' buS

Also note, may' is for refering to a specific battle.  vIq is for refering
to combat/battle in the general sense.  KGT p47


> 'a jeyqu'ta' Saj
> But his pet defeated him.

This is grammatically correct, but this doesn't say "HIS pet", SajDaj.  But
I know you left that off to fit the poem.


> yInDaj SeHchu'pu' chatlh.
> His life was controlled by nonsense.

Good.


> English (rhyme):
>
> A boy from Kronos did say,
> Honor'll find me next day.
> He dreamed of great war,
> But his pet made him sore.
> The fates with his life did play.


New end result:  Something that doesn't rhyme.   :P
Poety is better when it's -created- in the language being used.


DloraH, BG



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