tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Mon Mar 26 13:31:49 2001
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Re: KLBC. Jereissati ghob ngoq
- From: Marc Ruehlaender <[email protected]>
- Subject: Re: KLBC. Jereissati ghob ngoq
- Date: Mon, 26 Mar 2001 15:31:28 CST
- In-reply-to: Your message of Sun, 25 Mar 2001 23:31:30 -0500
I would like to offer some comments, however, none of what
I say has any "official" power as far as command of the
Klingon language is concerned.
'aqratIyo':
> > Jedes Mitglied des Jereissati-Clans muss einen Eid auf diesen
> > Codex ablegen, indem es sich verpflichtet, niemals gegen ihn zu
> > verstoßen. Jereissati, die gegen diesen Codex verstoßen, werden aus
> > dem Clan verbannt.
> >
> > ngoqvamvaD 'IpnIS Hoch *Jereissati tuq beq 'ej ngoQvamvaD not bIv
it seems to me the two -vaD don't belong here.
> > 'e' lay'nIS. tuqvo' ngoqvam bIvpu'bogh *Jereissati beq luDaSlu'.
> >
the german "sich verpflichten" means "to oblige oneself" and seems
stronger than {lay'}, maybe a native speaker of English can come
up with something closer to "oblige"
> > §1 Wir Jereissati glauben, dass alle intelligenten Lebensformen
> > gleich sind. Jeder, der andere Humanoide wegen ihres Aussehens, ihrer
> > Sprache, ihrer Religion oder aus anderen Gründen diskriminiert, ist
> > deshalb als Feind der Jereissati zu betrachten und zu bekämpfen.
> >
> > wa') rapchuq Hoch yoq mutmey DIBmey 'e' wIHar; 'ej *Jereissati
> > maH. qechvammo', *Jereissati jaghna' ghaH, qabDajmo' HolDajmo' joq
> > lalDanDajmo' joq latlhmo'joq latlh yoqvaD maybe'bogh, vay''e' 'ej
instead of {yoqvaD maybe'} I suggest {yoq vuvHa'} as a closer equivalent
to "discriminate", also there should be only one {joq}
> > pajnISmeH maSuvqang, 'e' wImeqnIS maH.
> >
I think the {-nIS} here should really be a {-moH}
> > §2 Wir Jereissati verhalten uns im Kampf niemals unehrenhaft!
> > Verwundete, Unbewaffnete, Zivilisten und Gegner, die sich ergeben
> > haben, stehen unter dem Schutz dieses Codex und des jeweiligen
> > Kommandanten.
> >
> > cha') not maHIgh; 'ej *Jereissati maH! rIQwI'pu' 'omlaHbe'wI'pu'
> > je Suvbe'bogh rewbe'pu' je jeghpu'bogh gholpu' je Qan ngoqvam poHchaj
> > joH je.
> >
> > §2 We the Jereissati never act dishonourably in battle! Injured
> > people, non-combattants, civilians and enemies who have surrendered
> > are protected by this Code and the regarding chief.
> >
taD:
> It looks like you translated "the regarding chief" as {poHchaj joH}. When I
> read {poHchaj joH}, I translate it as "the lord of their time period", which
> might not be what you mean.
> What exactly is the "regarding chief"? You could simply say their "lord",
> "boss", or "leader". Using {poH} ("period of time") is probably unnecessary
> here.
>
"jeweilig" means "respective", i.e. all the meaning it adds is that the
leader need not necessarily be the same for all of them, which could
be approximately expressed by an explicit plural marker {joHpu'chaj}
> > wej) vay'vaD QIjlaHghach weghbe'lu'bogh DIbna' teqlaH pagh 'e'
> > wIHar; 'ej *Jereissati maH. qechvammo' Hoch jabbI'ID SeHghach
> > wIlajQo'.
> >
you should be aware of the generally held view that
{-ghach} without any intervening suffix sounds unusual
> > §4 Niemals beugen wir Jereissati uns einem faschistischen,
> > imperialistischen Regime, seiner Verfechter, oder seinen Schärgen,
[neue deutsche Rechtschreibung jay']
> > selbst wenn diese Einstellung unseren Tod bedeutet.
> >
> > loS) *Jereissati maH 'ej not nujIjmoHlaH tlhab jagh HI'tuy, wo'
> > ngotlhwI' qumqoq joq, Qochbe'wI'Daj joq, toy'wI'Daj joq. ghIqtal:
> > qechvam wIbIvbe'taHqu'.
> >
you may want to consider {qechvamvaD maSuvchu'}
> When you said {tlhab jagh HI'tuy}, it appears that you are saying
> "independence's enemy dictatorship". This sounds wordy to me, and simply
> using {HI'tuy} might work better.
>
"the dictatorship of the enemies of independence" actually works
o.k. for me; I have more trouble with "the so-called government
of the fanatics of the empire", mainly though because for a Klingon
to be an "empire fanatic" likely evokes a rather positive image
> > qech'a'meyvaD naDevDaq qonlu'ta'bogh maHeghrup; 'ej *Jereissati maH.
> >
> The last sentence of this section is particularly confusing to me. We can't
> say *{naDevDaq} - this would be something like *"at here". Normally, we
> would just say {naDev} ("here").
I think it's meant to say "we are ready to die for the ideas contained herein"
which is covered by taD's suggestion
> > *Jereissati wangwI' jIHchugh not Hejchu'ghach'a'vaD jImuvqang.
no {-vaD} here I think
> I believe you have a typo with *{wangwI'}, since I don't recognize the verb
> *{wang}. Do you mean something like {ra'wI'} ("commander") or {DevwI'}
> ("leader")?
>
I think he means {vangwI'} "one who acts"
> > *Jereissati loHwI' jIHchugh not jIQuSqang. tuqvaD qumvaD je lI'meH
> > QapwIj; ghotpu'vaD Hoch muSujbogh Sighmey Hoch maSbe'chugh je Hoch
> > maSqa'chugh je vIqImHa'qang.
> >
> Your sentence here, {tuqvaD qumvaD je lI'meH QapwIj}, doesn't have a main
> verb.
it seems like {qImHa'} is the main verb for the {-meH} clause
(judging from the German)
> The section {Hoch muSujbogh Sighmey, Hoch maSbe'chugh je, Hoch maSqa'chugh
> je} should be changed. {SIgh} ("influence") is only a verb, not a noun.
> I believe that you may have meant to write {-bogh} instead of {-chugh} here
> twice.
I believe both times he meant {-ghach}
> > Hut) ghot batlhmeymaj tuq batlhmaj je DIQanqang.
"a person's our honors and the house's our honor"?
{batlhmaj tug batlh je}
> Going along with SarrIS' recent comments, I encourage beginners and skilled
> Klingon speakers alike to say things in Klingon, in their own words. Writing
> your own original sentences, stories, or descriptions in Klingon is more
> satisfying (at least for me). And you can submit your own original tlhIngan
> Hol stories to {jatmey}, also. :-)
>
IIUC, he made up the code himself, thus he did exactly what you
advise him to :)
Marc Ruehlaender
aka HomDoq
[email protected]