tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Thu Jul 06 20:11:23 2000
[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next]
RE: KLIC: UserFriendly translation
- From: [email protected] (William Martin)
- Subject: RE: KLIC: UserFriendly translation
- Date: Thu, 6 Jul 2000 23:11:26 -0400
- Importance: Normal
- In-Reply-To: <[email protected]>
I can't stop myself...
> -----Original Message-----
> From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
> Sent: Wednesday, July 05, 2000 11:36 AM
> To: [email protected]
> Subject: KLIC: UserFriendly translation
>
>
> There's an online daily comic called User Friendly...
> So, I take a look at the translation, and I don't like it at all
> (Chakotay, if you're on this list, it's nothing personal.).
And I look at your translations, and I don't like them at all (nothing
personal). Like you, I feel compelled to try to do better. Likely someone
will follow me because they don't like the way *I* translate it, but here
goes:
Oops. Random synapse. Did it ever occur to anyone that a popular Teran soft
drink sounds exactly like "Commander of the Realm of The Great Robot":
qoq'a' qo' la'
while its primary competitor sounds like "He raises it. He's excited!"
pep. Sey!
It makes you wonder what Okrand had in mind. Surely, there is a message here
somewhere...
Okay, back to task:
> ---
> -Panel 1-
> Another Day at Columbia Internet without the presence of geeks means
> another day without the sound of doors opening to new and fabled worlds...
DaHjaj *qolambIya'* *'Internet*Daq Dachqa'mo' Hoch jonwI'pu', DaHjaj
poSbe'qa' wo'mey chu' lojmItmey, wIchmey wo'mey lojmItmey je 'ej
lojmItmeyvam wab Qoybe'qa'lu'. [Note that I would not normally use so many
explicit plural suffixes, but I'm trying to be especially clear.]
Lit: "At Columbia Internet, today, because all engineers are again absent,
today the doors of new worlds and the doors of worlds of myth again do not
open and one again does not hear the sound of these doors."
> /Columbia Internet/Daq jaj chu' juS SaHvISbe' jonwI'pu' 'ej jaj chu' juS
> Qoylu'vISbe' poSmoHlu'ghach lojmItmey qo'mey chu'Daq 'e' Hech 'oH...
>
> poSlI'DI' qo'mey chu' lojmItmey chenmoHbogh wab'e' Qoybe'lu'bogh jaj'e'
> 'oH *Columbia Internet*Daq jonwI'pu' Hutlhbogh jaj'e'
>
> A day which lacks engineers at Columbia Internet is a day in which the
> sound made by doors of new worlds when they are opened is not heard.
>
> -Panel 2-
> Woosh!
>
> wooSSSS!
>
> (self-explanatory)
>
> -Panel 3-
> ...although the sound of a single closet door opening and closing
> punctuates the stunned silence.
'ach poSDI' Sut polmeH pa'Hom lojmIt 'ej ghIq SoQDI', tamchu'taH Hoch 'e'
qagh lojmItvam chuS.
Lit: "But when a small clothing storage room's door opens and when it
closes, this noisy door interrupts that everything is continuously,
perfectly silent." That last part would probably be more loosely translated
"interrupts the continuous, perfect silence."
I mean, what exactly is a "stunned silence", anyway? We can't get hung up on
literal translations. You have to think about what the sentence means and
then build a sentence that has the same meaning, not the same words or the
same grammar.
charghwI'
> ...'och Qoylu'viSghach pagh 'e' jejmoH Qoylu' pagh 'e' Dub Qoylu'ghach
> poSlu'moHghach je SoQlu'moHghach lojmIt teppa'Hom.
>
> tamlaw' qach 'ach nganDaj merchu' Qapchu'DI' wa' tep pa' lojmIt
> chenmoHbogh wab
>
> The building seems quiet, but the sound made when one cargo room's door
> functions perfectly stuns its inhabitants.
>
> (The possessive pronoun in the English is ambiguous, but I was
> hoping the
> <-Daj> would be less so, given its position in the sentence. I thought
> that <Qapchu'> would accomodate the "opening and closing" meaning with
> Klingon economy.)
> ----
> I tried to use <-'e'> to mark the head nouns of relative clauses,
> but when
> they nest it got confusing for me. Again, feedback welcome, and
> I promise
> not to translate anything else for a long time.
>
> Jaes