tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Wed Jul 05 08:39:00 2000
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KLIC: UserFriendly translation
- From: [email protected]
- Subject: KLIC: UserFriendly translation
- Date: Wed, 5 Jul 2000 10:36:05 -0500
There's an online daily comic called User Friendly, sort of a cross
between Bloom County and the older Dilberts, that I've been reading for
quite awhile. Translations of the strip are posted in all sorts of
languages, and just today I noticed that someone going by "Chakotay"
posted a tlhIngan Hol one. Going back a couple of days, I see that he's
done this for a little bit, anyway.
So, I take a look at the translation, and I don't like it at all
(Chakotay, if you're on this list, it's nothing personal.). Now, I know
and agree with the standard admonition to not try translations until
you've mastered putting your own words into Klingon, but I didn't just
want to post what was there and say I disagreed with it without offering
my own lamb for slaughter. So, here's the URL to today's comic:
http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20000705
And here's the text of the strip, followed by Chakotay's translation, then
my translation with the wordier "direct English" meaning underneath. I
welcome critique of my attempt (I've never done something with so many
relative clauses, but I couldn't thing of good ways to break down into
smaller sentences), other recastings, etc. There's a daily message board
at userfriendly.org that you could post on the Klingon thread if you'd
like to give feedback to Chakotay (I'd've done that, but the mailto link
was blank), but blanketing the mb would be counterproductive, IMO.
(Chakotay uses <jonwI'> for "geek, tech, etc", so I just did the same.
<ghunwI'> doesn't really have the breadth, though in *nix it's close I
suppose.)
---
-Panel 1-
Another Day at Columbia Internet without the presence of geeks means
another day without the sound of doors opening to new and fabled worlds...
/Columbia Internet/Daq jaj chu' juS SaHvISbe' jonwI'pu' 'ej jaj chu' juS
Qoylu'vISbe' poSmoHlu'ghach lojmItmey qo'mey chu'Daq 'e' Hech 'oH...
poSlI'DI' qo'mey chu' lojmItmey chenmoHbogh wab'e' Qoybe'lu'bogh jaj'e'
'oH *Columbia Internet*Daq jonwI'pu' Hutlhbogh jaj'e'
A day which lacks engineers at Columbia Internet is a day in which the
sound made by doors of new worlds when they are opened is not heard.
-Panel 2-
Woosh!
wooSSSS!
(self-explanatory)
-Panel 3-
...although the sound of a single closet door opening and closing
punctuates the stunned silence.
...'och Qoylu'viSghach pagh 'e' jejmoH Qoylu' pagh 'e' Dub Qoylu'ghach
poSlu'moHghach je SoQlu'moHghach lojmIt teppa'Hom.
tamlaw' qach 'ach nganDaj merchu' Qapchu'DI' wa' tep pa' lojmIt
chenmoHbogh wab
The building seems quiet, but the sound made when one cargo room's door
functions perfectly stuns its inhabitants.
(The possessive pronoun in the English is ambiguous, but I was hoping the
<-Daj> would be less so, given its position in the sentence. I thought
that <Qapchu'> would accomodate the "opening and closing" meaning with
Klingon economy.)
----
I tried to use <-'e'> to mark the head nouns of relative clauses, but when
they nest it got confusing for me. Again, feedback welcome, and I promise
not to translate anything else for a long time.
Jaes