tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Wed Jul 05 10:18:05 2000

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Re: KLIC: UserFriendly translation



[email protected] wrote:
> 
> So, I take a look at the translation, and I don't like it at all
> (Chakotay, if you're on this list, it's nothing personal.).  Now, I know
> and agree with the standard admonition to not try translations until
> you've mastered putting your own words into Klingon, but  I didn't just
> want to post what was there and say I disagreed with it without offering
> my own lamb for slaughter.

I'm Chakotay. Hi there. Yeah, I screwed up royally with that
translation, I know. I've been doing Klingon UF translations for a few
days, and this one is clearly the worst one I've done so far. The
English was simply too eloquent, and that level of eloquence simply
doesn't convey to Klingon without forcing all sorts of grammatical
rules, or without breaking up the original wording completely.

> And here's the text of the strip, followed by Chakotay's translation, then
> my translation with the wordier "direct English" meaning underneath.  I
> welcome critique of my attempt (I've never done something with so many
> relative clauses, but I couldn't thing of good ways to break down into
> smaller sentences), other recastings, etc.  There's a daily message board
> at userfriendly.org that you could post on the Klingon thread if you'd
> like to give feedback to Chakotay (I'd've done that, but the mailto link
> was blank), but blanketing the mb would be counterproductive, IMO.

Hmmm, I'll see if I can get my addy in there. If you want to converse
personally, it's [email protected] :)

Basically, I sent the thing off, re-read it later, and came to the
conclusion that it sucked. Better luck next time, I guess, though the
next time will be quite some time in the future as I'm going on holiday
tomorrow :)

-- 
Albert Arendsen --- aka --- Reyn Eaglestorm
>>>>> The Gods have a sense of humour <<<<<
>>>>> So be sure you don't lose yours <<<<<
http://home.student.utwente.nl/a.a.arendsen


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