tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Mon Jan 10 11:02:00 2000

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Re: Haiku attempt/KLBC



In a message dated 1/6/00 4:38:53 PM Eastern Standard Time, 
[email protected] writes:

> > ghol 'Iw tay'moHlu'
>  > Suvchu'taHvIS SuvwI'pu'
>  > juppu' moj jaghpu'
>  > 
>  > A loose English translation:
>  > The blood of foes mix
>  > In a battle to the death
>  > Foes turn into friends
>  > 
>  > The imagery that I am trying to evoke is that when
>  > warriors fight, they are spilling blood on each other, even
>  > between friends and enemies.  Of course, only friends mix
>  > their blood, for example when taking a blood oath.  Thus,
>  > when warriors fight, enemies become friends.  
>  
>  I won't comment on the quality of the Haiku - I'm not a poetry teacher, and
>  don't even know the correct syllable counts for each line of a Haiku. I 
will
>  comment on the grammar, though: maj. Everything looks good. I first read 
the
>  second line as <SuvchuqtaHvIS SuvwI'pu'>, but that was just my brain 
getting
>  ahead of my eyes.
> 
Well, I *will* comment on the subject.  Great imagery De'vID!  loDnI'pu' chaH 
SuvwI'pu' Hoch.

quljIb


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