tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Mon Aug 28 16:30:26 2000
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Re: [KLBC] [The Raven] Part 4 Some mistakes
- From: [email protected]
- Subject: Re: [KLBC] [The Raven] Part 4 Some mistakes
- Date: Mon, 28 Aug 2000 19:29:40 EDT
qon Edgar Allan Poe:
>And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
>Thrilled me--filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before.
mugh Tremal-Naik:
>'ej *curtain* Doq joSHom tun 'ej bejHa' muSeymoH -
This is an innovative translation. majQa'. Just a couple problems. You
seem to have misplaced {muSeymoH}. Since the rustling that is thrilling
you, {muSeymoH} should come at the beginning of this sentence (right
after {'ej})--remember OVS (object-verb-subject) order.
>*terror* Dunqu'vaD not vIHotbogh muteb.
Another good translation, though again it has two problems. First, I
don't think {Dun} can be used in this way. Poe seems to use it to refer
to the overwhelming power of the terror, not it's wonderful nature.
Perhaps you could use something like {*terror*'a'meyvaD} (or
{*terror*'a'vaD}) to convey this concept. Second, I don't think that
adverbials can be used in relative clauses (perhaps a grammarian could
confirm this). Consider using something such as {vIHotpu'be'bogh} or
{vIHotbe'pu'bogh} instead of {not vIHotbogh}.
You also seem to have been unable to find a word for "terror." I have
also run into trouble while seeking Klingon words pertaining to fear.
About the only thing we have is the verb {ghIj} ("scare") and the suffix
{-vIp}. You could recast the sentence using {ghIj}. For example:
mughIjqu'; wanI'vam rur pagh latlh wanI'.
It really scared me; no other events resembled this one.
Not terribly poetic, but you might be able to come up with something
better.
DujHoD