tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Mon Oct 18 17:50:31 1999
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RE: Qor Hayqu' [KLBC]
- From: "Andeen, Eric" <[email protected]>
- Subject: RE: Qor Hayqu' [KLBC]
- Date: Mon, 18 Oct 1999 17:51:46 -0700
jatlh taj'IH:
> Greetings to the Empire!
> As already threatened by me, here another haiku along
> with explanatory remarks.
> Kor's haiku:
> Kor says in DS9 "The Dahar Master": "Enjoy the fruits
> of life while they are fresh, for later they turn bitter"
> (approximate quote). Kor has greatly come down in life,
> having lost all power and position. He fails miserably
> as Third Officer on General Martok's ship, as he seems
> to be suffering from a mild form of Altzheimer, but later
> dies most honorably while saving two ships from a Jem
> Hadar attack, thus redeeming himself.
> Qor Hayqu': (5-7-5 syllable form again)
> morning fruit has flavor [yes, I know it's plural in t.H.]
> po naHmey tlhorghqu'
This is "flavorful morning fruit" - a noun phrase, not a sentence. That's
OK, but if you want this to be a sentence, it should be <tlhorghqu' po
naHmey>.
> evening fruit has lost it's tang
> [when night is reached the food is dull]
> ram SIchpu'DI' jejHa' pach
<ram SIchpu'DI'> is rather weird - "when he/she/it reaches night", with an
unspecified "he/she/it", probably refering to the <Qor> from the previous
line. Strange. Instead, I would probably do something like <Haw'pu'DI' pem>
or <pawpu'DI' ram>.
Also, do you want to focus on the loss of sharpness or on the state of not
being sharp. Compare:
Haw'DI' pem jejHa'choH pach - The claw becomes dull when the day flees
Haw'pu'DI' pem jejHa' pach - The claw is dull when the day has fled
The difference is pretty subtle, but hey, this is poetry.
> a fierce bird soars (to new heights)
> [a bird of prey flies and has maneuvered perfectly]
> puv toQ 'ej QoDta'
<QoDta'> means that the <toQ> has intentionally completed maneuvering.
<QoDchu'> would be "maneuvered perfectly".
> Nice food metaphors {{:-)
> I am worried about the syntax though...
> According to KGT, Klingons do not enjoy fresh fruit,
> they prefer it overripe, thus the English simile
> cannot be used in tlhIngan Hol. Their favorite flavour
> is not sweet, as for humans, but spicy or sharp = tlhorgh.
> Therefore, a different metaphor (daytime) is used to hint
> at youth and old age. Is there no word for evening?
> The expression "lost it's tang" = jejHa' pach means "the
> claw is dull" (KGT), or "the food tastes dull". Here I
> also allude to an old man having lost his cutting edge...
maj.
> toQ = "fierce bird, bird of prey" is the actual bird the
> Klingon ship model takes it name from. Here this of course
> alludes to the vessel Kor takes into battle to gloriously
> die, whilst performing unheard-of maneuvers.
> This haiku turned out rather deep (a bit Japanese), I hope
> the gentle reader still can follow {{:-) . Therefore, I
> decided to give this one a real title.
> *waiting for criticism*
pagh
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