tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Tue Jun 09 09:32:55 1998

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RE: jabbI'ID cha'

qInSaD wrote:

>pIj SaghItlhlaHbe' 'e' vIpay.  qaStaHvIS jav jar ropqu'taH SoSwI'.
>QapHa' tIqDaj.  wej Haq SIQta' 'ej Soch Hu' Haq loSDIch qaSlu'.
>QIt QapchoHmoHmeH jan tIqDajDaq lulan.  mul SoSwI'. 'oy' SIQ 'ej
SuvtaH.

>I regret that I can't write often.  My mother has been very ill for the
>past six months.  Her heart is malfunctioning. She has endured three
>operations and the fourth occurs in seven days.  They are implanting a
>device to slow her heartbeat.  (Not a literal translation here. I
>suspect I really said "they place in her heart a device to make it
>change function slowly," but that isn't what I meant.) My mother is
>stubborn.  She endures the pain and continues to fight.

>Please correct my mistakes.

>- qInSaD

Greetings, qInSaD. My name is pagh and I am filling in for Qov, the
list's Beginners' Grammarian. If you are submitting messages to be
corrected, you should add "KLBC" to the subject header, which gets the
attention of the BG and keeps you from getting a barrage of replies
before the BG can get to your message. Thank you for including a
translation of your message. Your Klingon was good enough that I did not
need it, but if you are looking for corrections, it is a good idea to
include one anyway.

Your message, though, needs very little correcting. The Klingon is
excellent - considerably better than my second message, or even my
twenty second. I do have a few comments, though:

>wej Haq SIQta' 'ej Soch Hu' Haq loSDIch qaSlu'.

The first part of the sentence is probably fine, but I do have two
comments. Fist off, you have run into one of the annoying ambiguities of
Klingon. <wej> can either mean "three" or "not yet". In this case, we
can tell from the second part of the sentence, but it might be clearer
if you avoided it. Second, I don't know if we can use <Haq> to describe
a specific surgical procedure; it might just mean surgery in general.
Fortunately, both problems can be avoided with a simple change: <wejlogh
Haq SIQta'>.

For the second part, I have the same concern with <Haq>. It may be fine,
but <Haq mIw loSDIch> or simply <mIw loSDIch> might be better. Also, for
seven days from now, you want <SochleS> rather than <SochHu'>. I used to
make this mistake all the time. I believe charghwI' has a way to
remember this; perhaps he will share it...

>QIt QapchoHmoHmeH jan tIqDajDaq lulan.

I read this as "They slowly implant ...", which is not what you want.
Here is my suggestion: <nomqu' QaptaH tIqDaj 'ej qay'. tIqDajDaq jotmeH
jan lulan HaqwI'.> If you are talking about a pacemaker, you could also
consider something which controls her heart.

pIjHa' bIlab, 'ach tlhIngan Hol DaHaDqu'ba'. bIpo'. yIHem.

batlh SuvtaHba' SoSlI'. tugh jaghDaj jeyjaj.

pagh
Temporary Beginners' Grammarian

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