tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Wed Nov 19 11:40:33 1997

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Re: KLBC: insulting



In einer eMail vom 19.11.97 19:04:41 MEZ, schreiben Sie:

> I REALLY wish people would stop trying to make sense out of the
>  pieces of Klingon words. I mean, what does "restaurant" have to
>  do with "rest"ing or "rant"ing? And what does a "tower" have to
>  do with debt? It does have the word "owe" in it, after all.
>  
>  Care to explain the etymology which brought the words "fat" and
>  "her" together to form the word "father"? One supposes it would
>  be a similar explanation for a similar word beginning with the
>  word "mat".

Look at this, I got it from a friend. It's funny to read it, but it is tha
same as what you're saying:

<begin of message>
ENGLISH ??

Let's face it.  English is a crazy language.  There is no egg in eggplant nor
ham in hamburger; no apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
 Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore it's paradoxes, we find that
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig isn't
from New Guinea, nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers can write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
groce and hammers don't ham?  If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the
plural of booth beeth?  One goose, 2 geese.
So one moose, 2 meese?  One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you
comb through annals of history but not a single annal?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what
would you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?  If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?  If you wrote a letter, perhaps you
bote your tongue?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum
for the verbally insane.  In what language do people recite at a play and
play at a recital?  Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?  Have noses that
run and feet that smell?  Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same thing, while a wise man
and a wise guy are opposites?  How can overlook and oversee be opposites,
while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as
hell one day and cold as hell another?

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent?
 Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown?  Met a sung hero
or experienced requited love?  Have you ever run into someone who was
combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?  And where are all those people who
ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can
burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and
in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity
of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all).  That is why, when
the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are
invisible.  And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up
this essay, I end it.

###
<end of message>

muHwI'
IKV Fek'lhr (Trier)
Dark Vengeance Fleet
http://members.aol.com/Lieven/




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