tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Thu Jun 19 15:59:37 1997

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RE: KLBC: The first time, Grammar check



jatlh peHruS:

> *Colorado*Daq 'oHmo' juHwIj'e' motlh HuDmey Dun yotlhmey beQ je vIleghlaH

'IH!

> loS Hu' wa'netlh loS *feet*  juSbogh HuD vItoSta'bogh Qu' vIqIH

"Four days ago I met (for the first time) a task of a mountain which I had 
climbed which overtook 10,004 feet."

nuqjatlh?!?

"Meeting a challenge" is an English metaphor; we don't know that Klingons 
"meet for the first time" their tasks.  For all we know, they talk of 
"beginning to fight for a task."  We have no way of knowing.

HuD Dung bIng je jojDaq wa'netlh loS "feet" tu'lu'
There are 40,004 feet from the top of the mountain to the bottom.

HuD DungDaq jItoSchu'.
I climbed all the way to the top.

(Or whatever exactly you were trying to say.)

> HuD nach pawpa' ghomwI' poS qamwIj tlhe'lu'

"Before the open (left side?) encounterer arrived the mountain's head, my foot 
was turned."

nuqjatlh?!?

The second part is probably all right, {qamwIj tlhe'lu'}, though we don't know 
if the subject of {tlhe'} is the one who turns or the one who makes something 
*else* turn.

Again, you've used a metaphor to represent the "mountain's peak."  "Head" is 
fairly understandable, I suppose.

And when you use {paw}, it doesn't take the place you arrive at as the object. 
 We have that line from Power Klingon, {Qo'noSDaq paw cha' DIvI' beq}.

> 'ej 'oy'choHbej *ankle*

Do'Ha'!

> tInchoHtaH

It took me a moment to realize that you were still talking about your ankle 
(hmmm . . . I wonder if {mov} is close enough . . .).  Repeat it as the 
subject for clarity.

tInchoH *ankle*.

You don't really need {-taH} on there.  It doesn't continuously begin to get 
bigger, nor does it begin to continuously get bigger.  It just begins to get 
bigger.

> loQ DIS machqu'Daq maleSpu' 'ej muQorgh wa' QelHom

By adding {-pu'} in the first part, you're suggesting that this action was 
already complete.  Nothing else you've said was already complete, so it sounds 
like this thing happened before any of this started.  You merely need to 
remove the {-pu'}.

> jaHqa' ghom nuvpu' pIm 'ach maloS jIH QelHom je

bImorghba'.

> pov povmeH jan vIlIghpu' 'ej ropyaH vIpaw

"In the afternoon I had ridden a device for being excellent and [now] I 
arrived the infirmary."

What's a {povmeH jan}?

You added an extra {-pu'} again.  The time context IS the afternoon, so you 
don't want that there.

> Do' qep'a' loSDIch vIlengpa' *crutches* vIlo'nISlaw'be'

"Fortunately, before I travel qep'a' loSDIch I not-uncertainly need crutches."

Again, we have evidence that {leng} doesn't take the route traveled as the 
object: {'Iw bIQtIqDaq bIlengjaj} "May you travel the river of blood."

You don't want to negate {-law'}, you want to negate {-nIS}.

Is the point here that you will not need crutches before you go to the qep'a', 
or that you won't need them *when* you go to the qep'a'?  Use {-DI'} instead 
of {-pa'}.

Do' qep'a' loSDIchDaq jIlengDI' *crutches* vIlo'nISbe'law'
Fortunately, when I travel to qep'a' loSDIch, I shouldn't need to use 
crutches.

Do'ba'.

-- 
SuStel
Beginners' Grammarian
Stardate 97467.3


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