tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Mon Jan 06 07:09:45 1997
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Translation, please comment
- From: [email protected] (Alan Anderson)
- Subject: Translation, please comment
- Date: Mon, 6 Jan 97 08:46:55 EST
> I am translating the inscription above the gates of Hell from Dante's
>Inferno. Never mind why.
ram meq. "Italy" Hol lI'be'law'mo' vInge'ta'.
>Through me is the way into the doleful city;
>veng 'IQDaq 'ellu'meH jIH mulo'
{-Daq} with {'el} seems redundant to me.
Since the subject doing the "using" is not important to the meaning,
I'd have said {vIlo'lu'} instead of {mulo'}.
I do like the emphasis on "me" implied by the extra {jIH}.
>through me the way into the eternal pain;
>mevbe'bogh 'oy'Daq 'ellu'meH mulo'.
Maybe a poetic use of {jub} instead of {mevbe'}?
>through me the way among the people lost.
>lujbogh ghotmey Samlu'meH mulo'.
"He uses me in order that the people who fail are located."
This seems to confound the meaning a bit. {luj} doesn't mean
"be lost", and I infer from {Sam} that you're "un-losing" them.
Maybe {chIl} isn't the right kind of "lost" either, but it seems
a lot closer than {luj} to me. Actually, this sounds more like
Grethor's "dishonored dead" than people who have lost their way.
>Justice moved my High Maker;
>jIH chenmoHbogh quv pon ruv.
What's the head noun of the {-bogh} phrase? And shouldn't there be a
verb prefix {mu-} on it if {jIH} is the object? This grammar needs to
be fixed, and it probably needs to be rephrased some in order to fix
it well.
>Divine Power made me,
>muchenmoH HoS quv,
I think {woQ} "authority" is more appropriate than {HoS} "energy".
>Wisdom Supreme, and Primal Love.
>valqu'ghach, parmaq wa'DIch je.
Ugh, a nominalized verb. :-) If you want a noun, {Sov'a'} or maybe
{Sovna'} is probably okay for what you mean.
Double-ugh, "first love-with-agressive-overtones"?! I doubt this word
expresses the appropriate concept at all!
But I do like the way the three parts of the subject of this sentence
appear correctly after the verb. That's very nice.
>Before me were no things created,
>jIchenpa' chen pagh,
I think this sounds better in Klingon than the english! :-)
>but eternal; and eternal I endure;
>'ach mevbe'bogh Dochmey chenta', 'ej jImevbe'.
The english sentence itself is not perfectly grammatical, but the
Klingon seems tangled. What's the subject of {chenta'}? And this
seems a perfect opportunity for {taH}.
>abandon all hope, ye that enter.
>naDev bI'elDI', bItul 'e' yImevqu'.
Pretty good.
Here's my attempt:
veng 'IQ ghoSmeH vI'ellu'
'oy' jub ghoSmeH vI'ellu'
nuv luquvHa'lu'pu'bogh tlhejmeH vI'ellu'
chenwI''a'wI' vangmoH ruv
woQ'a' quvmo' jIchen
Hoch Sovchu'mo' 'ej Hoch SaHchu'mo'
vItu'lu'pa' chen pagh
'ach reH; 'ej reH jItaH
bItul 'e' yIlon, 'elwI'
-- ghunchu'wI'