tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Mon Aug 18 12:33:47 1997
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Re: KLBC?: Gilbert and Sullivan
- From: "David Trimboli" <[email protected]>
- Subject: Re: KLBC?: Gilbert and Sullivan
- Date: Sun, 17 Aug 97 18:12:33 UT
[email protected] on behalf of Marian Schwartz wrote:
> I'm not sure whether this should be classified as
> KLBC, but if SuStel decides it is, feel free to classify it as that.
It's short and sweet, but still poetry. The main problem here is that you've
attempted to keep the same number of syllables (though not the stress) in each
line. This will make the grammar suffer. I'll go over it, but from a more
grammatical point of view.
> Come, friends, who plow the sea!
> Truce to navigation!
> Take another station!
> Let's vary piracy
> With a little burglary!
>
> loghDaq lengwI'pu' neH!
"Only space travelers!"
I presume you're intentionally changing this from a nautical context to a
space one. That's fine. Still, TKW tells us that Klingons have a history of
nautical experiences.
Then again, this is hardly a song worthy of honorable Klingons.
Since this is not a complete sentence in Klingon, it makes it very difficult
to translate literally. {Ha'} is an exclamation, not a sentence, and I
therefore cannot talk about traveling "on" the sea without presuming to use a
{-Daq} on a {-bogh} clause, something which is questionable at best.
> machIj 'ej wImevjaj!
I think you meant {machIj 'e' wImevjaj!}.
> latlh yaH wItaghjaj!
> maHeS 'e' wISermoHmeH
You meant {wISarmoHmeH}.
> loQ manIHchoH DaH wIneH!
We've only seen adverbials used one on a {neH} Sentence As Object that I know
of: when Klaa says {reH DIvI' Duj vISuv vIneH}. There are two theories that I
know of to explain this.
You might need to put the adverbial before the entire sentence:
DaH loQ manIHchoH wIneH!
> I'd like a better word than {chIj} in the second line -- maybe there's a
> new better word. I don't want to use {leng} because that would seem too
> repetitious. {HeS} is a bit unsatisfactory too.
Ah, the rigors of translating poetry!
--
SuStel
Beginners' Grammarian
Stardate 97628.4