tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Wed May 15 19:19:40 1996

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Re:web toDSaH (KLBC)

>HoHwI' writes:
>>{Heghna' qemwI' jub jIH 'ej qaHoHDI' SoQmaHna' bortaS gho. neH poH Hap
>>'oHpa' nachlIj ghajbej jIH 'ej batlh DeghwIj 'oH.  neH poH Hap 'oHpa'.}
>>
>>That's what I have.
>
>"I am the immortal bringer of certain death and when I kill you the
>circle of revenge [gibberish].  Time wants before it is matter.  *I*
>certainly have your head and it is my honor's emblem.  Time wants
>before it is matter."
>
>> I'm trying to say
>>
>>"I am the immortal bringer of certain death and when I kill you it will
>>close the circle of revenge.  I will have your head and it will be my medal
>>of honor.  It is only a matter of time."
>>
>>How close am I?
>
>A lot of it is very close.  You used some...uh..."creative" grammar
>with the word {SoQ}.  {SoQ bortaS gho} is fine for "the circle of
>revenge is/will be closed"; you don't need any verb suffixes on it.
>You *certainly* don't need any number suffixes or noun suffixes!
>
>You put the {neH poH...} phrase in there twice, and that phrase isn't
>close at all.  {neH} is unusual in that it *follows* the noun or verb
>it is modifying; placing it before a noun makes it look to me like the
>verb "want".  The suffix {-pa'} is used in subordinate clauses to say
>"before"; I don't know what you were trying to do with it, but it's
>not appropriate on the main (or only!) verb of a sentence, and it's a
>bit strange for it to be placed on a pronoun being used as "to be".
>{Hap} "matter" probably means the opposite of {rugh} "antimatter".
>
>Like many stylized idioms, "it is only a matter of time" doesn't
>translate directly.  You'll have to come up with something else
>that has the same meaning:
>{chonarghlaHbe'} "You cannot escape me", or maybe even
>{SanlIj wIvlu'pu' rIntaH} "Your fate has been chosen (and won't be changed)."
>
>-- ghunchu'wI'               batlh Suvchugh vaj batlh SovchoH vaj
>
>
>

        Putting {neH poH Hap 'oHpa'} in there twice was done (on accident)
because I added everything following the first {neH...} about thiryt minutes
later and wanted it in front of {neH...}.  Also the verb I wanted for
{SoQmaHna'} was {SoQmoHna'}(sorry, typo), Now here's a new, and hopefully
better, second draft.

        Heghna' qemwI' jub jIH 'ej qaHoHDI', bortaS gho SoQmoH.  ghajmeH
batlh DeghwIj, nachlij vIghajbe' jIH.  chonarghlaHbe'.

        Now that should say, "I am the immortal bringer of death and when I
kill you the circle of revenge will be closed.  For my medal of honor, I
will have your head.  You cannot escape me."

        Hopefully alot better!

HoHwI'

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