tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Sun Feb 27 20:25:28 1994

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Re: Scout law /translation

charghwI' responds to Amy West:

> quvwIjmo', joH'a'vaD 'ej puHwIjvaD Qu'wIj vIta' 'e' nIDbej
> nejwI' chut vIlob; qaStaHvIS Hoch poH, latlh nuvpu' vIQaH;
> porgh HoS, yab ghuS, DataH lugh je vIleH.
>  
> Amy

     I just want to pick one nit here. {latlh nuvpu'} is not a good casting
for "other people". {latlh} is a noun meaning "another one". That makes this
"another one's people" or "people of another one". It would be better to say
{latlhpu'}. Since {latlh} can refer to either people or things, the {-pu'}
both makes it plural and, in this case, lets people know that you are
referring to beings capable of language (probably people).

     I've seen {latlh} misused too many times to let this continue to slide.
Usually, people have treated it like an adjectival verb and say things like
{nuvpu' latlh}. That's not really any more correct than {latlh nuvpu'}. There
is no verb for "be other" or "be another".

     Okay, so I'll pick another nit. In your first sentence, {nID} and {lob}
are both main verbs with no reason for both being in the same sentence. The
problem is that the English sentence has a lot of sentences crammed into it.
My preference is to avoid the temptation of turning a bad English sentence
into a bad Klingon sentence. Go back to the meanings in the English and bring
them out into the Klingon. Make a bunch of sentences. It really is okay to do
that. You don't have to fit the same semicolons, commas and periods to the
Klingon as the English.

     This is why I didn't try to translate it myself in the first place, and
why I never translated the last sentence of the Gettisburg address. These
mission statements are usually overburdened by their desire to be profound.
They pack too many oversized concepts into each sentence and wind up feeling
wrong for Klingon, in my humble opinion. That was a real bummer for the
Gettisburg Address, too, since up to that last sentence, Lincoln did such a
good job of clearly and concisely stating his intended meaning. There, he
blew it and got as bogged down and overblown as any other bull-shitting
politician.

     Also, {DataH lugh} is not a noun, so you can't string it in with the
other adjectivally described nouns joined by the {je}. Nice try, though.

     I don't like sounding so negative. This was not easy. You did a good job
of tackling a nasty project. Consider these as pointers for where you should
apply polish before this project is considered to be finished. I'm sure
others will find points I've missed.

charghwI'

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