tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Wed Dec 07 07:44:18 1994

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Re: FWD>>>>>>RE- e-mail alert??? nuqjatlh?

Yes, I've seen this "warning" so far on two other mailing lists, along with
confirmation that it is, indeed, the hoax it so plainly appears to be.  I'm
sure someone else has said so already in the backlog of tlhIngan-Hol
messages waiting at KLI.org until the net-connection gets fixed there.  So
let's drop the subject.

BUT not before I break the rules a little, invoking Grammarian's privilege.
This post is NOT Klingon related, and has no place on this list, so sue me.
But, because of that, *please* do not respond to it; this shouldn't become
a long-lasting thread.  But it's too funny not to show you...  

This came out around the time when there was a rumor of a virus that
somehow got into your system through the subcarrier of modem lines...

~mark
===============================
Forwarded from the VirusBoard BBS at (225) 617-0862 [sic]

Date: 11-31-88 (24:60)              Number: 32769
  To: ALL                           Refer#: NONE
From: ROBERT MORRIS III               Read: (N/A)
Subj: VIRUS ALERT                   Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE

Warning: There's a new virus on the loose that's worse than anything
I've seen before!  It gets in through the power line, riding on the
powerline 60 Hz subcarrier.  It works by changing the serial port
pinouts, and by reversing the direction one's disks spin.  Over
300,000 systems have been hit by it here in Murphy, West Dakota alone!
And that's just in the last twelve minutes.

It attacks DOS, Unix, TOPS-20, Apple II, VMS, MVS, Multics, Mac,
RSX-11, ITS, TRS-80, and VHS systems.

To prevent the spread of this dastardly worm:

1) Don't use the powerline.
2) Don't use batteries either, since there are rumors that this virus
   has invaded most major battery plants and is infecting the positive
   poles of the batteries.  (You might try hooking up just the
   negative pole.)
3) Don't upload or download files.
4) Don't store files on floppy disks or hard disks.
5) Don't read messages.  Not even this one!
6) Don't use serial ports, modems, or phone lines.
7) Don't use keyboards, screens, or printers.
8) Don't use switches, CPUs, memories, microprocessors, or mainframes.
9) Don't use electric lights, electric or gas heat or airconditioning,
   running water, writing, fire, clothing, or the wheel.

I'm sure if we are all careful to follow these 9 easy steps, this
virus can be eradicated, and the precious electronic fluids of our
computers can be kept pure.

- --RTM III
=============================

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