tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Mon Dec 05 12:43:49 1994

Back to archive top level

To this year's listing

[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next]

Re: jIlIHegh 'ach *poem* jImuch

According to Mac Morgan:

> *poem*-vam jIghItlhta' :
> 
> --------------------------
> chalmey Doq
> --------------------------
> nuqDaq chalmey Doq               
>      vInajtaHbogh              
>           vIqawbe'taHvIS         

If the stanza boundary is also the sentence boundary, then I'm
a little confused. "While I am not remembering where the red
skies which I am dreaming..." My problem is figuring what
{nuqDaq} is doing here. It is a question word, but I can't
parse this as a question. Is it that you do not remember the
red skies' location? If that's the case, perhaps you should use
the word for location and make a noun-noun possessive
construction with red skies.

I don't know. Poetry can always be obtuse, so how can a
grammarian complain about inaccessibility?

> ghoSlI' jaghmey'a'
>      'a naj qu' law'             
>           Hoch qu' puS          

{naj} is a verb, not a noun.

> waveghDI' tIq'e'               
>      bIDDaq HIv bID         
>           Hoch jeypu'          

The absence of a glottal stop on the suffix {-'egh} is a widely
known typo in TKD, easily missed by any new Klingonist. Notice
that all examples and tables in TKD with {-'egh} include the
glottal stop (apostrophe). It is only the chapter describing it
that mistakenly omits the character, so your first word should
be {wav'eghDI'}. I'm also not sure this means what you want it
to mean. "As soon as the HEART divides itself, half attacks at
half. It had defeated everyone."

If you provide an English translation, I can do a lot better
job of telling you whether or not you got what you were after.
Here, I'm not sure what you were after.

> chalmey Doq jInajbe'           
>      vIleghqa'ta'neSpa'         

This one is confused. If {chalmey Doq} is supposed to be the
object of {najbe'}, then you have the wrong prefix. 

> --------------------------
> 
> I am new to the study of Klingon, and have started writing poetry, since
> it's more fun than trying to say things like "See Dick run" or "I threw up
> on the bureau of my aunt" 

Unfortunately, if you have never written "See Kirk die," or
"I'm sorry that my targ threw up on your shoes," then you may
not have polished the grammatical skills needed for something
as intense as poetry. What would you think of a Martian who
begins to learn English and decides to start out writing poetry
before learning how to ask, "Where is the bathroom?"

> This is a hymn of sorts--a psalm perhaps.  There doesn't seem to be a word
> for song, poem, psalm, hymn, or ode...*sigh* 

bom = song (n). It also is the verb "sing". It's not in TKD. It
is one of the rare words posted to HolQeD, the quarterly
newsletter of the Klingon Language Institute (Lawrence, this is
your cue...)

> I am having some trouble expressing 'the heart divided'.  

tIq wavlu'bogh

Of course, this might be misinterpreted in the literal sense...
Be careful how you use it. The wearing of body armor might be
advised.

> I settled for a
> more complicated // waveghDI' tIq'e' // [When the heart divides itself]  Is
> it okay to use the 'e' in this case?  I feel that some extra emphasis is
> needed but have no wish to stretch poetic license too far. 

It doesn't stretch poetic license disproportionately to other
elements of your poem.

> I would appreciate comments, but please be kind...I'm pretty new at this
> and have no illusions about my proficiency.

No flames intended. Going straight to poetry is ambitious.
Unfortunately, I do not personally think it is a great way to
begin learning the language, since poetic license allows you to
get away with bad ways of expressing things. Poems often need a
key to understand them. They touch most deeply those who hold
such a key of common experience, empathy, doctrine or
symbolism. When learning a new language, the key can easily
become "whatever I happen to be thinking right now", which
might be quite unrelated to what I am WRITING right now. 

You can often get away with "Just because you don't get it
doesn't mean it is not a great poem," while it is far more
difficult to get away with, "Just because you don't get it
doesn't mean it is not a great paragraph." Great paragraphs
convey a thought. Great poems sometimes just sit there, though
I may somewhat uniquely think that a great poem should be
accessible. That is part of what would make it great.

> mac
> 
> ------------------------
> "When walking, walk.  When sitting, sit.  Above all, don't wobble."

I heard that as "When you walk, just walk; when you run, just
run, but don't wobble." Its origins were told me to be budhist.

>                                         - author unknown
> 

charghwI'
-- 

 \___
 o_/ \
 <\__,\
  ">   | Get a grip.
   `   |

Back to archive top level