tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Fri Apr 20 14:54:02 2012
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Re: [Tlhingan-hol] nuq bop bom: 'ay' wa'vatlh javmaH loS: yu'wI' Qujmey
At 07:24 '?????' 4/20/2012, you wrote:
I had to put the previous installment back on screen in order to fully
appreciate the wording of her response. Splitting the chapters at that
point in the action is good for dramatic effect, but it makes the
parallelism between the two sentences less obvious.
I'm always looking for places to break that won't be too abrupt and
that give some kind of mini-climax or resolution to the action. I try
to get close to 250 words, and it's very rare that I let the
requirements of pacing get beyond -25/+50 of that. Maybe I should
move the section break here, but that might mean adjusting a bunch either side.
> tlhuptaHvIS be'tlhar, jatlh, "bIquvba'mo' jIquvHa''eghbe'meH DujrajDaq
> HatwI'na' vIlanQo'.
vaj lanta' ghaH net ra''a'? quv Hutlh ra'wI' jay'!
'e' Sovmo' be'tlhar vangrup. :-)
> ghIq pa'lIjDaq romuluSngan nejwI' vISam."
loblaw'ta' vay' quvbe'.
tIn Duj. qangwI' lutu'lu'bej.
> yay' vajar 'ej
> morghrup 'e' leghlaH be'tlhar. tlhupqa'. jatlh, "yIleS.
Duwambe'lI'. jav wen
> 'op DIjon 'ej DIQotlhta'.
qatlh polpu'? qatlh Qaw'be'ta'?
QulmeH? vay' tojmeH? HeSmey tobmeH? jISovbe'.
> ghem boSoptaHvIS pa'lIj nej Hung 'e' ra' Sa'.
> luSambe'pu'mo' QeHqu'. Dupum neH."
<pIpum! pa'lIjDaq jan Hat wISo'pu'bogh wISamlaHbe'mo' vaj DanIHba'ta'!
bIDIvqu'!>
jIHagh. vay' 'oghlaH.
> pe'vIl jatlh be'tllhar, "qajeyta'." vajar Hughvo' 'etlh teq 'ej DoH. jatlh
> "ghop chIm vIq DatIv'a'?"
(vItIvbe' jIH. ghol^H^H^HqochwI' lu'uch ghopwIj 'e' vImaS.)
DuSeymoHbe'ba' 'Iw wejwa'.
> jatlh be'tlhar, "HoD matlh nuQlaH neH. maghwI''a' ngu'laHchugh, vaj nubchoH
> qorDu' juppu' je 'ej nejchu'meH wo' jo ra'laHchu'."
va, reH woQ HoS je bop.
reH! Dat! woQ, HoS, Huch je bop, 'ej woQ HoS je bop Huch.
(QIv Dupvetlh 'e' vIHar: DoS tIn moj QapwI' qur.)
Qan'eghlaHmo' taH.
> tlhe''egh be'tlhar 'ej vajar ngaDHa'moHmo' bong torchoH je vajar.
> tlhuptaHvIS jatlh vajar, "De' le' vIghaj qatlh net Har?"
vISov vIneH je jIH.
chaq DaSovchoH.
> Hu'choHDI' vajar, pumqa'moH be'tlhar 'ej ravDaq pol porghDaj.
ghobchuqtaHvIS
> tlhuptaH. jatlh be'tlhar, "nuvpu' nub ngu'taH qImyal. joy'wI' jIHbe'."
neHchugh, joy'wI' po'qu' ghaH 'e' vIpIH.
Hung paQDI'norgh 'ut nopbe'pu' tlhIngan 'ampaS.
> jatlh, "bIghHa'Daq jItoy'pu'. to'lIj vIghov. chovoqmoHDI' mujoy'
latlh, ghIq
> SoHvaD jIDIS."
(qopwI' quv, qopwI' mIgh?)
bIghHa'Daq bIvumpu''a' je? :-)
> voqchoHchugh, choH nuq?
lugh. yuDchugh be'tlhar pagh yuDHa'chugh, pIm pagh. chunmo' vajar,
DISlaHbe'. vay' Hat ghajbe'mo', HatwI' So'meH QuSlaHbe' be'tlhar.
naDev vay' voqlaHchugh chaq moghbe'choHlaH vajar.
> vajar cha'neH
("Four arms? No, only two.")
DaHjaj bImIgh! Damn, is that what Marc Okrand was doing there? It
WAS, wasn't it! mIgh ghaH!
>'uchchoH be'tlhar, 'ach be'tlhar nach 'uchchoHmeH tlhe''egh
> vajar. vajar wuSDu'Daq Sumqu' be'tlhar qogh. jatlh vajar, "qavoqchugh, 'Iv
> vIvoqlaH je?"
>
> vajar qogh cholmeH be'tlhar wuSDu' tlhe''egh be'tlhar 'e' chaw' vajar.
Thank you -- the explicit subjects and objects make this very easy to read.
You have to suck it up in Klingon and realize that seeing as we don't
even have separate "he" and "she" you have to say the names a LOT. I
noticed that when I was translating passages into English, how they
sounded like a children's book until I turned three-quarters of the
names into pronouns.
> jatlh
> be'tlhar, "wa' nuv vIvoqlaHbogh vIngu'laHchugh, DaH SoH qaja'be'taH." yay'
> vajar. DujvamDaq Dat tlhInganpu' lutu'lu' 'ach voqHa'chuqmo' Hoch, quvchaj
> lupegh.
Dujvam tlham nISqu'laH ghutar.
qaSlI'!
> vajar SomrawDu' pujmoHmo' qech, nom nargh be'tlhar.
vajar pujmoH voqHa'ghach qech. ruv tu'lu'chugh, jaSHa' qImyal woQ pujmoHjaj.
SIQrupchoHlaH.
> pe'vIl jatlh be'tlhar, "vIt Daghovmo' bItuH! jIHvaD Qapbe' to'vetlh, no'wI'
> quv vItoblaHmo' jIH!" Hagh 'ej betleHDaj woH. jatlh, "Qapla', vajar HoD."
qaSpu' wanI' ramqu', 'ach Dajbej!
maj.
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