tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Sun Feb 10 17:13:15 2008

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Re: KCD 8

Doq ([email protected])



I feel compelled to suggest a couple alternative translations. This is  
an impressive undertaking. I'm just trying to polish a couple points  
that seem weaker than the bulk of the translation.

Doq

On Feb 10, 2008, at 4:22 PM, qa'vaj wrote:

> *** SPOILER ALERT
> *** This post may contain spoilers for Start Trek Klingon CD Game
> *** Don't read if you don't want to be spoiled.
> *** yIqIm!
> *** Hov leng tlhIngan CD Quj De' 'ang QInvam.
> *** De'vetlh DaSov DaneHbe'chugh yIlaDQo'.
>
>
> -- translation --
>
> [Qa'lan:]
>
> jaghpu'Daj qab leghlaHbe'pu'!

Okay, there's a minor difference between "did not see" and "could not  
see". I'm not sure whether the English or Klingon carries the sense  
that was on the CD.

> jInoDnIS!
>
> [ghawran:]
>
> bortaSmo' bImIS 'e' Dachaw'be'.  tay ta'nISlu'.

The English is imperative, but the Klingon is declarative. I'd  
recommend {DumISmoH bortaS 'e' yIchaw'Qo'!}

> Dochvetlh loS bortaS.

tayvetlh loSnIS bortaS.

> [Qa'lan:]
>
> bIlugh.  tay vIDev.
>
> [ghawran:]
>
> 	yIruchQo'!  Qu'lIj 'oHbe'.
>
> (paqvaD jatlh ghawran)
>
> paq.
>
> ** taj 'anglu', jIwIvnIS **
>
> (.. ghawran vIwIv ..)
>
> Heghvammo' bIyay' 'e' vISov, Human.  yoHHa'chu'mo' HoHbogh nuchvam  
> tlhIngan
> tIq yay'moH je.

This {nuchvam tlhIngan tIq} is one of those noun clusters that easily  
confuses me. I have to read it a couple times before I can sort it  
out. "The cowardliness of this assassination shocks even a Klingons  
heart." That's hard to translate, given the noun centricity of the  
original. We could go the {-ghach} route and say {Human tIq tlhIngan  
tIq je yay'moH HoHvam yoHHa'chu'ghach.}

The rest seems fine. Doj. majQa'.

> 'a yImISQo'.  bejlaHtaHvIS latlhpu' choHotqa'chugh jIHub'egh. Qu'  
> Data'nIS.
> yIruch!
>
>
> (.. Qa'lan vIwIv ..)
>
> [Qa'lan:]
>
> naDev, narghpu'pa' vavlI' qa' choqaD'a'?
>
> [ghawran:]
>
> tay DaDev neH ghaytan 'e' Hech.
>
> (paqvaD jatlh ghawran:)
>
> 'a Qu'Daj 'oHbe'. Qu'lIj 'oH.  yInIDqa'.
>
> (.. torghen mInDu' vIwIv ..)
> (taH lut)
>
> -- transcript --
>
> [Qua'lon:]
>
> He did not even see the face of his enemies!
>
> I must have vengence!
>
> [Gowron:]
>
> Do not let vengence cloud your mind, there is a ritual to be  
> performed.
>
> Vengence will wait for that.
>
> [Qua'lon:]
>
> You are right.  I will perform the ritual.
>
> [Gowron:]
>
> No!  It is not your place.  Pok.
>
>
> ** knife appears **
>
> (.. choose Gowron ..)
>
>
> I know this scene of death is shocking to you human.  The  
> cowardlieness of
> this assassination shocks even a Klingons heart.  But do not be  
> confused, if
> you touch me again in front of the others, I will defend myself.   
> You have a
> duty to perform.  Do it!
>
> (.. choose Qua'lon ..)
>
> [Qua'lon:]
>
> Do you challange me, here, over your fathers unmourned corpse?
>
> [Gowron:]
>
> I think he only meant for you to lead the ritual.
>
> (to pok)
>
> But it is not his place.  It is yours.  Try again.
>
>
>
> (.. choose Torghn's eyes ..)
> (the story continues)
>
>
>
>
> -- 
> qa'vaj
> wa' wIvna' quv law' cha' DuH po' quv puS
>
>
>






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