tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Wed Sep 09 12:01:47 1998
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RE: KLBC - chetvI' yIHuvmoH
- From: "Andeen, Eric" <[email protected]>
- Subject: RE: KLBC - chetvI' yIHuvmoH
- Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1998 11:58:07 -0700
lab tuv'el:
>
> <tera'Daq leng wa'DIchwIj> 'ay' wa'
> lut qon tuv'el, pach puqloD
>
> jogh wa'Daq tera' tu'lu'. Human juHqo' 'oH.
> tera' Huj law' qIbDaq Hoch qo'mey Huj puS.
Putting <qIbDaq> in the middle like that makes me uneasy. The type-5
noun phrase is modifying a noun, which is shaky at best. It would work
at the front of the sentence, though. I also suggest putting <-vam> on
<qIb>. Finally, while plurals are usually optional, there is a subtle
distinction when <Hoch> is involved. <Hoch qo'> means "each world", and
<Hoch qo'mey> means "all the worlds". You're comparing Earth to each
world individually, and not all of them together, so you need to leave
off the plural.
qIbvamDaq tera' Huj law' Hoch qo' Huj puS.
> tera' mach law' Qo'noS mach puS.
> vaj jIHvaD tera' tlham tISlaw'.
I don't think gravity can be light in Klingon. Objects certainly can
though: <vaj tera'Daq jIHvaD tISlaw' Hoch.>
> <San veranSISqo'> vengDaq jIpawDI' QapmeH mev mughwI'wIj.
<QapmeH mev> doesn't work here: "It stopped in order to function". "Stop
<doing something>" is often written <... 'e' mev> in Klingon, but that's
awkward here at best. Fortunately, a little brain twisting will fix it:
if something stops functioning, it starts NOT functioning: <Qapbe'choH>.
If it was intermittently on the fritz and broke again, you could also
use <Qapbe'qa'>.
> Do' jIQuptaHvIS DIvI' Hol vIHaD. jIghung; qagh vIrur.
> vaj tera' Soj qub jabmeH Qe' vInej.
This would probably be better with <-bogh>: <... Soj qub jabbogh Qe'
vInej.>
> <'Italyan> Soj pongbogh Humanpu' vay' vItlhob
I don't see what you mean here. "Italian food ... I asked someone". Here
are the two things I think you could mean:
jIHvaD <'Italyan> Soj chup tera'ngan. <'Italyan> Qe' vISam 'ej ...
-OR-
<'Italyan> Qe' vItu' 'ej vI'el. jabwI'vaD jIjatlh <jIHvaD Soj tlhorgh
yIqem>. Sojqoq qem jabwI', 'ach tlhorghHa'qu'...
> 'ach tlhorghHa'qu'. vutwI' quv vIlegh 'e' vIpoQ 'ej jIjatlh
> <Sojvam jISoplaHbe', jIHvaD vay' jej yIqem!>
Should be <vISoplaHbe'>, and I would suggest <Soj jej> instead of <vay'
jej>. Since we are all being Klingons here, I might add a <DaH> as well.
> muyajHa'mo' jIHvaD pIpyuS pach qem.
> mabpa'meyDaq jIpawDI' qagh vISuq 'e' vInID
Should be <mebpa'meyDaq>.
> 'ach qagh Qop neH vIHevlaH.
The <-laH> really doesn't belong on <Hev> here. I also have an
alternative suggestion: <'ach Qoplaw' Hoch qagh>. You could also throw
in a <jay'> if you wanted to. Dead qagh is reason enough to curse.
> tera' vISuchqa'chugh tlhIngan leng Soj law' vIqembej!
ghaytan bInejqu'chugh, tera'Daq tlhIngan Qe' nIv DaSamlaH. nuqDaq Sop
tlhIngan Duy'a'? nuqDaq Sop tlhIngan SuchwI'pu'? yInej 'ej yItuv.
chaq SoHvaD tlhorgh je <SuSIy>. SuvwI' Soj rurlaw'.
> "My first voyage to Earth" part I
> story composed by Tuv'el, son of Claw
>
> Earth is found in the alpha quadrant. It is the homeworld of
> Humans. Earth is the strangest world in the galaxy. Earth is
> smaller than Kronos, so Earth's gravity seemed light to me.
> When I arrived in the city of "San Francisco" my translator
> stopped working. Luckily, I studied <English> while I was
> young. I was as hungry as gagh, so I looked for a restaurant
> that served Earth cuisine. I requested something Humans
> called "Italian" food, but it was very bland. I demanded to
> see the head cook and I said, "I cannot eat this food. Bring
> me something sharp!" Because he misunderstood me, he brought
> me pipius claws. When I arrived at the hotel, I tried to
> order gagh, but I received only dead gagh. If I visit Earth
> again, I will certainly bring a lot of Klingon food to go!
maj. This is your first extended story, and it is quite good. I made a
lot of comments, but most of them were minor. Keep it up!
pagh
Beginners' Grammarian