tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Sun Feb 05 02:15:37 1995
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KLBC: idunno
- From: [email protected] (Lisa Stapp)
- Subject: KLBC: idunno
- Date: Sat, 04 Feb 1995 16:29:00 -0500
I know, I know... Simple stuff is the best way to learn! I'm
just temporarily going to ignore that advice. Someone sent
something funny to my BBS that I wanted to share... nad it would
only be on topic if it is in tlhIngan Hol.
napchugh mu'tlheghmeywIj vaj Dubqu' SovHeywIj ej vISov
DaH qeSvam vI'IjQo'ba'
De'wI' QumwI' paw jabbI'IDvam 'ej muHaghmoH 'ej
'oH qanob vIneH
jabbI'IDwIj Dalajqang tlhIngan Holvo' vIghItlhchugh
30 Signs That Technology Has Taken Over Your Life:
-- Joe Mullich, AmericanWay Magazine, 11/15/94.
yInlij lughatlh janmey lutob wejmaHvam yu'mey
'oH ghItlh *Joe Mullich*
1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty's address
book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two
on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the
breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you
have conceded that the first page of any letter you write *is* letterhead.
ghIH'a' be' boSghach *Warren Beatty*Daj 'ach
ghIH'a'qu' QumwI' navlIj
*fax* ngoq cha QumwI' ngu'wI'mey *Internet* ngoq je
ngaS nav wa'DIch
tIqqu'qu' *Internet* ngoq
Dungu' nav wa'DIch 'ej DachID
2. You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least
one device on your body beep or buzz.
tIvghachmeylIj qagh janmeylIj
nIbom 'ej nIboj
3. You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can't
because there isn't one typewriter in your house -- only computers with
laser printers.
*I'll pass on this*
4. You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends," but you
forget to send your father a birthday card.
jupmeylIj moj'egh janmeylIj 'ach vavoylI' DaquvmoH DalIj
5. You disdain people who use low baud rates.
Qit lI'chugh ghot Davaq
6. When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson
talking with customers -- and you butt in to correct him and spend the
next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the
salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head.
De'wI' malja' Da'elchugh vaj ngevwI' Da'Ij
DalughmoH
cha'maH tupmey je'wI'pu' Dajang 'ej
ngevwI' tam ej Duvuv
7. You use the phrase "digital compression" in a conversation without
thinking how strange your mouth feels when you say it.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'*
8. You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say
the phrase "digital compression." Everyone understands what you mean,
and you are not surprised or disappointed that you don't have to explain it.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'*
9. You know Bill Gates' e-mail address, but you have to look up your
own social insurance number.
*Bill Gates* ngoqDaj DaSov 'ach ponglIj DalIj
10. You stop saying "phone number" and replace it with "voice number,"
since we all know the majority of phone lines in any house are plugged
into contraptions that talk to other contraptions.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'*
11. You sign Christmas cards by putting :-) next to your signature.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'*
12. Off the top of your head, you can think of nineteen keystroke
symbols that are far more clever than :-).
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'*
13. You back up your data every day.
chach De'lIj DachenmoH wa'hu' DaHjaj wa'leS je
14. Your SO asks you to pick up some minipads for her at the store
and you return with a rest for your mouse.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
15. You think jokes about being unable to program a VCR are stupid.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
16. On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the
pages faster than everyone else who is reading John Grisham novels.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
17. The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music rarely
enters your mind.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
18. You are able to argue persuasively the Ross Perot's phrase
"electronic town hall" makes more sense than the term "information
superhighway," but you don't because, after all, the man still uses
hand-drawn pie charts.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
19. You go to computer trade shows and map out your path of the
exhibit hall in advance. But you cannot give someone directions to
your house without looking up the street names.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
20. You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
21. You become upset when a person calls you on the phone to sell you
something, but you think it's okay for a computer to call and demand
that you start pushing buttons on your telephone to receive more
information about the product it is selling.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
22. You know without a doubt that disks come in five-and-a-
quarter-and three-and-a-half-inch sizes.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
23. Al Gore strikes you as an "intriguing" fellow.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
24. You own a set of itty-bitty screw-drivers and you actually know
where they are.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
25. While contemporaries swap stories about their recent hernia
surgeries, you compare mouse-induced index-finger strain with a nine-year-old.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
26. You are so knowledgeable about technology that you feel secure
enough to say "I don't know" when someone asks you a technology
question instead of feeling compelled to make something up.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
27. You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
28. You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you
own turns bread into charcoal.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
29. You have ended friendships because of irreconcilably different
opinions about which is better -- the track ball or the track *pad*.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
30. You understand all the jokes in this message. If so, my friend,
technology has taken over your life. We suggest, for your own good,
that you go lie under a tree and write a haiku. And don't use a laptop.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
31. You email this message to your friends over the net. You'd never
get around to showing it to them in person or reading it to them on the
phone. In fact, you have probably never met most of these people face-to-face.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
@Via Squish 1:106/88.0, Thu Feb 02 1995 at 07:16 UTC
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