tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Sun Feb 05 07:43:55 1995
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KLBC: idunno
- From: [email protected] (Lisa Stapp)
- Subject: KLBC: idunno
- Date: Sat, 04 Feb 1995 17:52:00 -0500
jIloSlaHbe'
7. You use the phrase "digital compression" in a conversation without
thinking how strange your mouth feels when you say it.
*digital compression* Dajatlh 'ej 'oy'Ha' nujlIj
8. You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say
the phrase "digital compression." Everyone understands what you mean,
and you are not surprised or disappointed that you don't have to explain it.
bIghom'egh 'ej *digital compression* Dajatlh
nIyajba'
DumermoHbe' 'ej Du'IQmoHbe'
9. You know Bill Gates' e-mail address, but you have to look up your
own social insurance number.
*Bill Gates* ngoqDaj DaSov 'ach ponglIj DalIj
10. You stop saying "phone number" and replace it with "voice number,"
since we all know the majority of phone lines in any house are plugged
into contraptions that talk to other contraptions.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'*
11. You sign Christmas cards by putting :-) next to your signature.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'*
12. Off the top of your head, you can think of nineteen keystroke
symbols that are far more clever than :-).
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'*
13. You back up your data every day.
chach De'lIj DachenmoH wa'hu' DaHjaj wa'leS je
14. Your SO asks you to pick up some minipads for her at the store
and you return with a rest for your mouse.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
15. You think jokes about being unable to program a VCR are stupid.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
16. On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the
pages faster than everyone else who is reading John Grisham novels.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
17. The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music rarely
enters your mind.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
18. You are able to argue persuasively the Ross Perot's phrase
"electronic town hall" makes more sense than the term "information
superhighway," but you don't because, after all, the man still uses
hand-drawn pie charts.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
19. You go to computer trade shows and map out your path of the
exhibit hall in advance. But you cannot give someone directions to
your house without looking up the street names.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
20. You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
21. You become upset when a person calls you on the phone to sell you
something, but you think it's okay for a computer to call and demand
that you start pushing buttons on your telephone to receive more
information about the product it is selling.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
22. You know without a doubt that disks come in five-and-a-
quarter-and three-and-a-half-inch sizes.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
23. Al Gore strikes you as an "intriguing" fellow.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
24. You own a set of itty-bitty screw-drivers and you actually know
where they are.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
25. While contemporaries swap stories about their recent hernia
surgeries, you compare mouse-induced index-finger strain with a nine-year-old.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
26. You are so knowledgeable about technology that you feel secure
enough to say "I don't know" when someone asks you a technology
question instead of feeling compelled to make something up.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
27. You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
28. You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you
own turns bread into charcoal.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
29. You have ended friendships because of irreconcilably different
opinions about which is better -- the track ball or the track *pad*.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
30. You understand all the jokes in this message. If so, my friend,
technology has taken over your life. We suggest, for your own good,
that you go lie under a tree and write a haiku. And don't use a laptop.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
31. You email this message to your friends over the net. You'd never
get around to showing it to them in person or reading it to them on the
phone. In fact, you have probably never met most of these people face-to-face.
QaqaD
DamughlaH'a'
@Via Squish 1:106/88.0, Thu Feb 02 1995 at 07:16 UTC
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