tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Sun Jan 16 22:49:03 2005

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Re:wamwI' - by juDmoS

Heather Myers ([email protected]) [KLI Member] [Hol ghojwI']

ghItlh juDmoS:
> nom vIH tIqwIj.
> My heart beats (moves) very fast.

Where's it going?  ;)  I understood what you meant here, but I can't =
help
but think /vIH/ isn't best used this way.  (It rather reminds me of a
post-qep'a' post I once made in which I said /ghoghwIj vIchIl/ - "I lost =
my
voice".  SuStel, the then-Beginner's Grammarian, said, "I hope you catch
it!" before explaining that /chIl/ means 'to misplace' and not 'lose' in =
the
way I'd thought of it.)  Unfortunately, I don't have a recast for you in
this case.  Hopefully someone else out there does!

> maHIv'egh.
> We attack each other.

The suffix for "each other" is /-chuq/.  /-'egh/ is "myself".

> vIDuq.  vIDuQqa'. vIDuQqa'.
> I stab it. I stab it again. I stab it again. (is there a way to say=20
> "repeatedly"?)

I understood that to mean "I stab it repeatedly" or "I stab it over and =
over
again."

> mamuvta' Ha'DibaH jIH je.
> The animal and I are joined.

There's no rule that says you have to declare an object with /muv/, but =
my
mind wants one.  I don't know if /mamuvchuqta' Ha'DIbaH jIH je/ is any
better ... I think this is an abstract idea (you don't mean you've =
become
physically merged with the animal, do you?) which might be difficult to
express (except poetically) in Klingon.  Then again, it's late and my
Klingon is getting rusty.  :)  If you want to make a reference to the =
hunter
eating the prey's heart to gain its strength, it might be better to say =
just
that: /gheD HoS vIHev./

> naQ yaywIj.
> My victory is complete.

I understood this, but I think it's too noun-driven to be good Klingon.  =
I
think something like /jIQapchu'ta'/ "I have succeeded/won completely" =
would
be better here.

I'd say you did a great job writing this story.  And, as always, if =
anyone
knows better than I (and I'm sure y'all do!) and can correct or refine =
my
suggestions, please go right ahead.  Keep writing, juDmoS!

jI'qel ghojwI'
...QongnISbogh be'=20
=20

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