tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Wed Sep 18 16:34:55 2002
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Temptress of the stars - text
- From: Quvar valer <[email protected]>
- Subject: Temptress of the stars - text
- Date: Wed, 18 Sep 2002 17:12:49 -0400
Greetings.
I've mentioned this some time ago, it's the text to a song. Actually, it's more like a song that
klingons might be singing after coming back from a fight, or a long mission. Just like sailors used to
talk unbelievable rubbish of what they encountered, the contents of this song is also not too serious.
A brief summary of the story:
Klingon ship finds planet with beautiful lady. But she's a "Temptress" and gets one by one all of the
crew undder control. When she got enough of them, she lets them go again. But the klingons would like to
go back one day.
Now comes the text. If I don't give a comment, then it's a phrase where I think it's correct, but I'm
free for suggestions. I've put some words in brackets, because they are not required, but can be used to
fit the number of syllables - if necessary.
1.a) HaStaDaq be' 'IH ghaH
"She was beautiful on the screen"
[sounds like she is only nice on a sreen]
1.b) jIHDaq be' 'IHqu' bejlu'
"On the viewing screen, a beautiful lady could be seen."
2.a) yoq rur porghDaj 'ach/'ej Hujqu' Her body looked humanoid, but/and strange
2.b) yoq rur 'ach Hujqu' she looked humanoid but strange.
2.c) yoq ghaH 'ach Hujqu' she was humanoid but strange.
3. Soch nuj(Du') ghaj (ghaH) She had seven mouths
4. 'ej wa' mIn tIn(qu') ghaj (ghaH) and (she) had a (really) big eye.
5. a) nuqotlh(chu') ghoghDaj her voice tickled us (perfectly).
5. b) DubDu'maj qotlh(chu') ghoghDaj Her voice (perfectly) tickled our backs.
[I don't which one is better]
"Our great expedition failed because we ran into the temptress of the stars"
(this is the refain, it won't be translated.)
6.a) tlhu'wI' lu'omlaHbe' they could not resist the temptress.
6.b) ghaH lu'omlaHbe' they could not resist her.
[Is that the right word for "resist"? {qaD} don't look good here, I think.]
7. ya...wa'DIch...tagh... The tactical officer was the first one to go
I found no solution yet. That one's tricky.
8. Qobbe' ghor nuja' "he said the surface is not dangerous."
[Originally, this was "he told us the surface is safe."]
9. nepbej, be'vetlh qotlhchu'ghachna'mo'
"He lied to us because of the "definitely perfect tickle-ing" of that woman"
[Originally: "He fooled us, because..."]
10.a) wItlha' we followed her
10.b) matlha'we followed
11. jegh latlh, jegh latlh je. one by one surrendered
12. lujpu' Hoqmaj Dun Our great expedition failed
13. tlhu'wI' be' wIqIHDI' when we met the temptress for the first time.
14. SIbI' nuvuQ(choH) noSvaghDaj her deodorant fascinated us immediately
15. majeHpu'mo' wIvonlu' we were trapped because we'd been absentminded
[I used this expression, because in slang it can also mean "fail utterly", and this fits pretty good.
Does it have the right prefix? I think with the "correct" prefix, the slang meaning is gone.]
16. Saqpu'DI' Hoch tagh muvtay The initiation started as soon as everyone had landed.
17. pe'vIl tlhu'bogh ghewmey nuje'taHvIS While she fed us with "love-bugs"
[I don't know what the author means with that]
18. ghojmoHwI' Dun ghaH wIpong we called her "great teacher".
19. tlho' nughojmoH She taught us gratitude.
20. 'ej tlhu'bogh qotlhchu'ghach? nughojmoH ?? and the tempting tickling.
[you see the question marks...]
21. toy'wI'a'Daj wIDaqang We behaved willingly as slaves.
23.a) tlhu'wI' be' temptress woman
23.b) tlhu'bogh be' tempting woman
23.c) tlhu'wI'na' true tempteress
[Now what would be the best? I think the easiest would be {tlhu'wI'}, but how make it more clear it's a
female?]
24. puQDI' ghaH DujDaq nutatlh'eghmoH when she was satisfied she sent us back.
[Can we use it like that?]
25.a) 'ej machegh 'e' tuch (ghaH) and she forbid us to come back
25.b) 'ej machegh 'e' chaw'be' (ghaH) and she didn't allow us to come back.
26. (ghaH) wInej(bej)taH We (certainly) keep looking for her.
27.a) ghIpDIjDaq <yIchoq> majach(bej) At the court martial we will (certainly) shout "save her"!
27.b) ghIpDIjDaq majach <yIchoq> At the court martial we will (certainly) shout "save her"!
28.a) luq, Ha' Okay, let's go.
28.b) pa' majaH?jaj? May we go there.
28.c) Ha'! pa' majaH let's go. May we go there.
[This sounds very terran, like {maja'chuqjaj} 28.a is the best I think. Or I drop the -jaj?...]
I hope anyone wants to help :-)
qaDvam tIvqang vay' 'e' vItul.
Qapla'
Quvar
ghojwI'pu'lI' tISaH.