HayQu' updated

["Se'noj le'umaS" <tlhingan_hol_vijatlh@hotmail.com>]

gItlh voragh

>Reverse the order of the nouns - "war drums" is {veS DIr 'In(mey)}, i.e. 
>"war's drum(s)".  If it's easier, remember that the more general noun of 
>the two is last:  Just as a {DIr 'In} is a specific kind of {'In} 
>"percussion instrument" made of {DIr} "skin", a  {veS DIr 'In} is a 
>specific kind of {DIr 'In} "drum" used in war {veS}.

>>I will publish it here when I finish it.
>
>Please do.


Here is the corrected version from the last one, in light of these 
suggestions.


moghoSmoH veS 'In
SuvmeH jIH moghoSchoHmoH
jISuvnIS lupoQ


I think that {veS 'In} is appropriate, because it could be any percussion 
instrument used to inspire a {batlh SuvwI'} and scare one's 
{jaghmey}/{jaghpu'}.
BTW yes I am aware of the {Qaghqoq} in the last sentence, but they ARE one's 
enemies.
Any further suggestions for the poem would be appreciated.

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