tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Tue Sep 18 11:27:05 2001

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RE: KLBC: Othello



Ro'Han said:

	Here is the text - I have added some explanations where necessary to
explain 
	how the sense was translated into Klingon. 

	I have a feeling that there are some places where <'e'> was suitable
but has 
	not been used. 

It looks like you could use {'e'} in the first paragraph. Otherwise, it
doesn't look like you omitted {'e'} anywhere that it would be necessary. Now
that I see what the original was, I've included some more comments. Of
course, I'm not a Shakespeare scholar, so I may have misinterpretted the
meaning of some of the phrases.


	RODERIGO: Tush! never tell me (Nonsense, don't try to make me
believe that); 
	I take it much unkindly that thou, Iago, who hast had my purse as if
the 
	strings were thine (treated my money as though it were your own),
shouldst 
	know of this. 

For "Don't try to make me believe that", you could use the verb suffix
{-moH} ("cause") and say:
{'e' HIHarmoHQo'} "Don't make me believe that (previous sentence)."

Similarly, for "thou...shouldst know of this", you could use {'e'}:
{'e' DaSovlaw'} "You apparently know that (previous sentence)."


	If ever I did dream of such a matter, abhor me (shun me). 

For the first part here, rather than saying "If it enters my brain...", I
might have said something like "If I have considered this possiblity..."


	RODERIGO: Thou told'st me thou didst hold him in thy hate. 

Okay, it looks like your original version, {chojatlhpu' DamuS}, was what you
intended.
Actually, I think it might be better if you wrote:
{choja'pu' <vImuS>} "I have told you, <I hate him>"


	Three great ones of the city, in personal 
	suit (bringing the request personally) to make me his lieutenant, 

Looking at the original version, I think it would be closer to the original
if you put "in order that I become his lieutenant" at the beginning of the
sentence, and used the verb suffix {-meH} ("in order to"). This way, you
could just say:
{SoghDaj vImojmeH} "In order for me to become his lieutenant..."

Note that "his lieutenant" should be {SoghDaj}.
The noun suffixes {-wIj} "my", {-lIj} "your", {-maj} "our", & {-raj} "your
(plural)" refer to non-speaking things, and the noun suffixes {-wI'},
{-lI'}, {-ma'}, & {-ra'} refer to people, who can use language. For example,
we can say:
{ghIchwIj} "my nose"
{juHmaj} "our home"
{jupwI'} "my friend"
{SoSma'} "our mother"

However, the suffixes {-Daj} "his/her/its" and {-chaj} "their" refers to
both speaking and non-speaking beings. For example, we can say:
{ghIchDaj} "his/her/its nose"
{SoSDaj} "his/her/its mother"
{juHchaj} "their home"
{jupchaj} "their friend"

There is no suffix {-Da'} or {-cha'}. Instead, we just use {-Daj} and
{-chaj}.


	but he; as loving his own pride and purposes, 

Rather than using {Qu'mey}, you might consider {ngoQ}, which which means
"goal, purpose".


	evades them, with a bombast circumstance horribly stuff'd with
epithets of 
	war;

Okay, now I understand better what you meant by {jun, tlhach mu'mey lo',
mu'qaD veS buy'}.
{jun} is good by itself, meaning "He evades."
{tlhach mu'mey lo'} is also fine by itself, meaning "He uses jargon."
However, {mu'qaD veS buy'} ("full curse warfare") is not a complete
sentence, which confused me. {buy'} means "be full/be filled up" and not
"fill up".
There is the verb {ghoD} "stuff". However, it might be better to just say
something like:
{tlhach mu'mey jatlhtaHvIS, mu'qaD veS lo'} "While he was speaking jargon,
he used curse warfare."
You could also try {veS mu'qaD} "warfare curse" instead of {mu'qaD veS}.

- taD



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