tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Tue Apr 20 09:25:29 1999
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Re: My fight!
Koraxis K'Dor wrote:
>I joined this list and watched for some time. I wrote a little "fight"
>song. It is my first piece. I would be honored if someone would critique the
>"Klingonese" and point out my errors! I used my Dictionary and pojwI' for
>windows created by d'Armand Speers.
Since you didn't flag this KLBC, I'll do you the honor. You say you've
been lurking for a while so I assume you know when to flag it for the
Beginning Grammarian.
>nIteb jIQam.
>I stand alone.
maj.
>jaghpu' muDech, Dk'taghhwIj jIvaHHa'.
>My enemies surround me, I unsheath my Dk'tagh.
muDech jaghpu', DaqtaghhwIj vIlel.
{vaH} "holster, sheath, knife-case" is a noun. Unlike English, you can't
easily use nouns as verbs in Klingon. Use the verbs {lel} "get out, take
out" or {teq} "remove". Okrand hasn't used either of these in context, so
I'm not sure which would be more appropriate here.
Also, don't forget to use the object prefix {vI-} "I do something to it" on
whatever verb you choose. See the explanation in TKD 4.1.1 (p.34).
>muchol, vIloS, vIlul.
>They come for me, I wait, I fight them.
maj. One point: {vIloS} is "I wait for/expect them" vs. {jIloS} "I wait"
(no object). Nice use of {lul} - must be a really fierce, major battle.
>may' 'ej yay jIwup.
>Battle and triumph I burst into song
Not sure what this means but, hey, it's poetry. Repunctuated this becomes:
may' yay je. jIwup.
Battle and triumph. I burst into song.
{'ej} is used between verbs and clauses, {je} follows a list of nouns.
>'Iwchaj nguvmoH che'ron
>Their blood stains the battlefield.
che'ron nguvmoH 'Iwchaj
Good imagery. Remember Klingon word order is Object-Verb-Subject, the
opposite of English. Read chapter 6 on syntax in the Dictionary.
>tIqchaj jISop.
>I eat their heart.
tIqchaj vISop.
A very Klingon idiom. Use {vI-} "I do something to it" again.
>jIQuch!
>I am happy!
maj.
>juH jIghoS 'ej jIleS.
>I go home and rest.
maj. FYI {juH vIghoS} may also be possible. Okrand has on occasion used
the object prefixes with {ghoS}, though he more often uses the "no-object"
prefixes.
A nice first effort. I look forward to reading your next {may' bom}.
--
Voragh
Ca'Non Master of the Klingons