tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Tue Mar 21 16:41:53 1995
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Quiz
I started randomly throwing together this little Klingon Culture/Language
Quiz. I wanted it to have about fifty questions, but my brain clogged up and
could only think up this many, so enjoy, dammit!
Klingon Language and Culture Quiz.
This is designed to measure your knowledge of the powerful and
expressive Klingon language and their rich, many-faceted culture.
Your score will indicate to you how well-informed you are in the
various aspects of Klingana. Choose the best answer to each
question, compare them with the answer key at the end, and then
rank yourself at one of the graduated levels of expertise as a
Klingonist.
Marc Okrand speaks Klingon
a) fluently.
b) with minimal difficulty.
c) modestly.
d) not quite well enough to call off a charging targ.
Which of these phrases will get a Klingon's attention most
effectively?
a) nuqneH
b) nuqDaq yuch Dapol
c) 'IH jaj, qar'a'
d) yIH vIlargh
Paramount Pictures
a) trains big, green, slimy lawyers with sharp teeth to jealously
guard the Star Trek trademark.
b) most graciously allows the KLI to continue its endeavours.
c) finds some sort of sadistic pleasure in tantalizing
Klingonists with corrupted and bad-quality tlhIngan Hol.
d) [all of the above]
Lawrence M. Schoen loses the most sleep over
a) rude DJ's calling him at home about "some sort of Star Trek
language."
b) people who write to him requesting information on Vulcan.
c) the efforts of lazy translators who miss publication deadlines
by four months.
d) the death of Maltz.
[Scratch that (c). Make it six months, and counting.]
The most notoriously rebellious Klingonist is
a) Glen Proechel
b) Glen Proechel
c) Glen Proechel
d) [all of the above]
The most acceptable translation of, "Today is a good day to die,"
is
a) DaHjaj 'oH HeghmeH jaj QaQ
b) jaj QaQ 'oH jIHeghDI' jaj'e'
c) QaQ jaj 'oH DaHjaj HeghmeH
d) likely to cause riots.
The two Klingonists who should never be placed in the same room
together are
a) Cpt. Krankor and Mark Shoulson.
b) Nick Nicholas and Cpt. Krankor.
c) Will Martin and Duffy Dobelbower.
d) Glen Proechel and Glen Proechel.
Klingons prefer their qagh
a) dead cold, with the first pangs of rigor mortis having set in.
b) burnt to a crisp.
c) raw and wriggling.
d) fast and furious.
The worst possible insult during a game of Curse Warfare is
a) Dejpu'bogh Hov rur qablIj
b) not HIvje'lIjDaq yIH Datu'jaj
c) luSpetDaq qul yIchenmoH QobDI' ghu'
d) Hab SoSlI' Quch
When females are willing to mate, they make sounds like those of
the
a) chemvaH
b) pIpyuS
c) Doy'yuS
d) verengan
The proper way to call off a potential mate is to
a) read Klingon poetry while dodging blunt objects thrown at you.
b) laugh.
c) bite him/her on the arm.
d) turn to your side and say, "I have to wash my hair now."
How many colors do Klingons have names for?
a) fewer than we do.
b) more than we do.
c) the same as we do.
d) none, because Klingons only see in shades of blood-red.
Klingon blood
a) floats.
b) is green.
c) mixes with Romulan bile to form Ferengi hair tonic.
d) is essentially puse, with a tint of lavender.
HolQeD is
a) an acronym for the latest Star Trek spin-off.
b) a journal published by the KLI.
c) an abbreviated greeting meaning, "Today is a good day to die."
d) Ferengi hair tonic.
DaH HIHoH means
a) "Merry Christmas."
b) "Hi, how's it goin'?"
c) "You are a *@$# HIHoH!"
d) "Kill me now."
[And I never got around to that answer key. Cope. Please feel free to add
more questions. It's not copyrighted or anything. (Famous last words.) Tot
straks.
you-know-who]