tlhIngan-Hol Archive: Tue Nov 15 18:37:27 1994
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Re: A Klingon Fable
>Date: Mon, 14 Nov 1994 09:50:39 -0500
>Originator: [email protected]
>From: [email protected] (Matt Whiteacre)
OK, I took a look at your translation of the fable. For the most part I
found it quite readable and correct. Just a few comments....
>ben law', *qInlat*Daq choltaH SuS'a' HoSghaj
I think I can accept "ben law'" as a time-phrase, in case you're wondering.
>Qan'eghmeH, veng lu'el tlhInganpu'
>'ach Hur ratlhtaH wa' loD
"HurDaq ratlhtaH". Just because it seems like a location doesn't mean it
doesn't take "-Daq"; that's only true of naDev, pa' and Dat.
>loD ghoS qeylIS 'ej <nuq DanID> tlhob qeylIS
Maybe "chol" instead of "ghoS"? Stylistically, I'd drop the second
"qeylIS"; but that's me. I've been editing too much Hamlet; I'm starting
to comment everything like it.
><mughIjbe' SuS'a'
>veng naghmey bIng vISo'be'
Again, "veng naghmey bIngDaq jISo'be'". Probably "jISo'Qo'": I *won't*
hide behind city rocks. (should it be jISo''eghQo'?)
>naDev vIQamlI' 'ej SuS'a' vIqaD 'ej muvuv 'e' vIraDqu'> jatlh
>wIvDaj lob qeylIS 'ej veng 'el qeylIS
>qaSDI' po, paw SuS'a' 'ej Hegh loD
>qoH vuvbe'qu'bej SuS
>SuS'a' HeDaq yIratlhbe'
Remember, you don't put "-be'" on imperatives; use "-Qo'" instead. SuS'a'
HeDaq yIratlhQo'. (note that this is a no-object imperative; were this
command given to more than one person, it'd be peratlhQo').
~mark